Looking Back


Tomorrow having SPA skill A exam.
Im still studying in front of the computer right now aha.
Brother is away in downtown east, i think, waha.
This room is going to be dominated by me for this 3 days woots!

I've just signed in to msn, using my old account.
Realised that i did not sign in that account for a very long time.
Looking at the contacts of my many secondary school friends.
Aha memories.
Man, im missing chinese high, im missing my buddies man.
June holidays, really hope to catch up some old times aha.
Felt so...detatched..

I've been slacking for the recent weeks.
Confession here? aha.
The idea of having holiday is making me feel..lethargic aha.
Kept having the wrong idea that i can play now,
and just push in the holidays.
Oh well, term ending.
May I really do it when the time comes.
June holidays.
Make or Break.
If im going to slack my June away,
im SO going to panic.

Guilt starts to set in, again.
Here i am relaxing and slacking,
while i know my friends in HCI for example are working so hard.
Aye. Sometimes its so disappointing.
Ive told my brother too before.
I "know" a lot of things.
Meaning, I understand what needs to be done, etc.
I know whats right whats wrong, what ought to be done.
But at the end of the day,
the action does not come.
Self discipline?
What's the point of knowing, but not doing it.
That's what i call letting yourself down.

peace

22:01;

Back


oh my, it has been...never mind aha.
in short, im posting.
wow, how rare =p

no post = gd times?
oh well, perhaps.
nonetheless lilttle ups n downs still...but,
yeah things had been quite fine =)

that does not include schoolwork though aha.
for physics and maths im probably still in tune...
but for maths, man, im behind...really behind.
havent been doing the past two tutorials i think..
not to mention im going to receive my maths quiz back tomorrow,
which is a definite fail =(
oh well. when will i wake up, again, muaha.

elections over.
didnt really follow it, watched bits and pieces only.
partly due to me playing and playing games again aha..
i wonder 20 years from now, still PAP?

come to think of it, my tolerence had reached a new high again aha.
meaning, i had better tolerence now?
or that im able to...just shut off aha.
smile smile smile =)

come to think of it,
this post is junk ahaha.
ive lost it.
am i blogging for the sake of blogging? i do not know.
in the 1st place i think i shall use my pinkies to count the
number of people reading this aha.

back to some random stuff.

the last weekend was so boring.
poor dear had to stay home and rush homework,
and poor me had to stay home and CHILL.
oops, aha.
slacked my weekends away.
a saturday at home, just sucks.
even my dad asked me to go out wahaha..

24/50, essay assignment.
not really sad, cause i rushed it off and was even wondering wther i would fail.
however,
content 16/30
LANGUAGE 8/30
ok, that saddens me ahaz.
oh well, at least ive alwaes known that i suck in my language...
" There are TOO much people....."
sheesh.

the topic i did had something to do with the past and the future.
thinking back, the past, is so....."scary" aha.
it commands a great power, in my view.
at least for me, if something triggers off, i might just ponder over it for some time.
that includes past, others, or me.
for mine, it includes friends primarily.
where are they now? aha.
once my good friends, now...aha.
at least i think they are doing well,
and oh well i dont really matter anyway aha =)
june holidays coming,
really hope to see my sec school friends again man..
ah...its been quite some time.

sheesh this post is so..random.
i dont know.
seems so "here and there".
whatever, i shall end.
the end


peace

17:28;

Thanks


Thank you people,
thank you dear.
Anyway i had to admit,
the cake really came as a surprise.
aha =)
and to the people who wished me happy birthday,
thanks, really.
ive said before to people,
as long as people wish me, im already very happy.
and this time round, there are many who came as a surprise,
cause i did not expect them to aha.
so, thanks to all of you =)

i was lucky to spend my evening onwards with dear aha =)
thanks for everything,
thanks for your "stars" aha,
thats sweet of you =)))))

i had the worst start to my birthday ever,
having to stay up til 4am to study and face the physics paper,
which i might just fail anyway.
but at least, i dint have the worst birth'day' every aha.



peace

19:14;

Back


back to the books.
feeling so stressed up now.
because of physics.
the inability to do questions is so demoralising.
have to finish studying physics before saturday.
have not touched econs yet.
still aiming for that A in physics.
but not when i cannot do the tys questions.
guess its time again to go mugging again.
hope i will not pms again aha.
and, having to search for your ruler for one minute,
when you know that its on the table,
just simply sucks.
and those you-know-what words just rattles off.
at least, im alone at home.
its so shitty being stressed.
but who isnt? aha.
guess i have to go for stress-management course.
anyone interested too? aha
back to my books i guess.

peace

17:58;

Relax


Saturday was quite a good day for me aha.
Went to play a little mahjong,
before going to play pool with zhan norman shirley yihan sherline peng yan.
relaxed for the whole day aha.
though lost money in mahjong but...never mind.
i just want to relax.
after a week of mugging.
been quite some time b4 i can relax and enjoy myself like this aha.
nice to see that siao and crappy sherline after some time too aha.
and dear was around there having her dinner too.
cool, that pig..........=p

sunday went to dear's house to watch vcd and supposedly study waha.
watched two shows in the end.
The Myth and 2046.
The Myth was not bad, so was 2046,
though 2046 was indeed chim ahaz.
and...it has alot of sex scenes eh waha -_-"
Tony Leong must be having a great time wth Zhang Zi Yi in filiming that show waha dotz.
didnt manage to study at all erps.
chilled and slacked the whole day ahaz.
nevermind, still got monday mah.

slpt til 11 plus i think.
very tired, had alot of wierd dreams dangs.
went to woodlands library with dear, intending to study.
but oh well, it was full so....
we went mahjong!!! ahahaz.
this time i never lose, she lost!!! ahaha.
oops. but oh well, she lose also = i lose..so...same same aha.

i like this feeling, of being relaxed and enjoying myself.
unlike that period of mugging.
sigh, i think the mood was so so different.
but i guess i have to get back to mugging soon i guess aha.
no time to waste already.
tomorrow going to woodlands library at 9 to study whole day.
hope tomorrow shall be productive aha.

how are the rest of the people doing? mmm.
hope all of you are working hard for our remainding papers aha.
remember to chill at times too ahaz..
=)



peace

21:54;

Common Tests


ah tommorow marks the beggining of our Common Tests.
all the best to 05S12!
=)
and oh well, sleep early aha.

(might go MIA for some time, see how things go aha)

peace

21:59;

What to say


dint go for the handball match.
not i did not want to.
just had no mood to do so.
just, tired.

aye, what should i say.
wrote a long entry.
decided to delete.
cause the source,
i don't know.
cannot be 100% sure, so,
decided to give the benefit of the doubt to them.
heck la, if any of you not happy with me, so be it la.
if any wans to badmouth me,
anything lo, its your mouth anyway.
if others choose to listen and believe in it anyway,
what can i say, aha.
if nothing of that sort is happening, then good lo.

sometimes i really wonder,
so what if you care for someone.
at the end of the day,
you just never know.
whats going to happen to you.

so tired of everything.
whatever i heard today, aha sucks la but,
shall not comment here,
in case it isnt fully reliable.

i need to talk.
with, some people.

common tests.
aye.
happy mugging.
if only that can happen to me now.
happy? aha

peace

20:15;

Homing-Saturday


it is saturday, and im at home whole day.
no choice, have to study for common test.
it is so...wierd though.
the feeling of being home on saturday.
its interesting to do my work halfway and realise that hey, tomorrow is sunday -_-'

school is becoming more and more...boring.
or maybe it just that friday.
oh well, heck aha.
at least im more immune to stuffs such as...
not being asked to go out for lunch when a big group is.
aha, should i feel left out?
oh well, so be it.
not the first time im not called for outings anyway aha.
at least the impact is getting smaller.
that is good, as i think there might be more to come aha.
talking about outcast.
im not outcasting, im being outcasted muaha.

im worried. of As.
statistics are worrying me.
whatever it is, i guess we all should just do the best we can.
never let ourselves down.

sometimes im just sick of everything.
today is not too bad.
i have the mood to study.
unlike yesterday.
just sick of everything.
i dont know.
im lost for words.
i dont see myself as a cheerful guy now.
in the past i can say im such an extrovert, such a talkative guy.
now, aha whatever.
sometimes it sucks too, being someone who doesnt take friendship lightly.
cause when you realise that you are actually a nobody, or just simply insignificant,
you feel it.

its so wierd.
it seems that there are so much inside me, that i want to say.
but,its so hard to even start typing the first word.
aye. whatever.
back to my work.
all the best to whoever is working hard now.
take care peeps.

peace

20:25;

Ben the mugger!


okay, im...sort of..."dead".
for one whole week i did not do any work?
talking about aiming to be a mugger aha.
never mind, ben is going to study from today onwards,
i hope.

last saturday got to play overnight mahjong again.
not i "jio" people play okay..=p
won 64, talk about removing norman's curse!
thanks to dear i was not THAT out of place in Yue Hua's birthday BBQ on saturday.
its nice seeing some of your friends whose names you can actually forget aha.

im seeing my classmates working hard,
jiayou!!
though at the same time stressing me aha.
cause...im NOT working waha.
but never mind, i am going to work on that aha.

anyway sorry that i did not join you guys for FD3 movie ya...
thought that its better that i go home early,
in order to start work early.
not that i did not want to go okay aha...
you guys must me missing me like crazy tsk tsk tsk.
anyway hope you guys enjoyed yourselves aha.
someone wrote all the work we had to do on our class blog right?
kudos to whoever it was! aha.
i happily joted all the work down...
today, i found the paper in my bag.
nothing was crossed out zzzz.
so screwed aha.

well well well.
come to think of it.
its near 6pm now.
and....im still at the computer, not bathed.
okokok ben the mugger is going off.
anyway i think im most probably not going to be online at night in the coming weeks.
before the common test at least i think aha.
try not to miss me ok?
(ok sorry that sounds gay)

peace

17:46;

Revived


aha ben teo is back to blogging i guess
after being missing in action for so long
behold for the lengthy posts =p
just like the past aha
though this time...
i think i shall use standard english?
aha, im training for GP!!!



SPA was over, and i shall not talk about it....
I DID IT TWICE
okokok nvm i shall not talk about it aha
its over and i hope all of us did it alrite =)



things recently had been..fine i guess aha
went to west coast park with dear yesterday
it was =) ahaz
though cannot meet so often soon aha
must mug already if not dIEEEEE
was satisfied wth my test results.til that trigo maths test
that was a 8/20 fail haiz
cant say much though, didnt really study
*shakes head*
never mind, still got common test =)



heard about somthing to do wth him
i guess im just not going to side with anyone
im definitely not going to pity him or whatsoever though
whether intentional, what happened happened
cant blame for whats happening next
looking into it and explanations are whats important now i guess



to people out there feeling stressed up
we are in this together
work hard but learn to relax at times ok?
though not as much as me of course aha =p
no time to blog anymore
10pm already and i have not touch my work
this post is just to say
im back!!! aha
( not like anyone really cares though aha )



peace

21:48;