chill out ya

2006-05-22T22:01:00.000+08:00

Looking Back

Tomorrow having SPA skill A exam.
Im still studying in front of the computer right now aha.
Brother is away in downtown east, i think, waha.
This room is going to be dominated by me for this 3 days woots!

I've just signed in to msn, using my old account.
Realised that i did not sign in that account for a very long time.
Looking at the contacts of my many secondary school friends.
Aha memories.
Man, im missing chinese high, im missing my buddies man.
June holidays, really hope to catch up some old times aha.
Felt so...detatched..

I've been slacking for the recent weeks.
Confession here? aha.
The idea of having holiday is making me feel..lethargic aha.
Kept having the wrong idea that i can play now,
and just push in the holidays.
Oh well, term ending.
May I really do it when the time comes.
June holidays.
Make or Break.
If im going to slack my June away,
im SO going to panic.

Guilt starts to set in, again.
Here i am relaxing and slacking,
while i know my friends in HCI for example are working so hard.
Aye. Sometimes its so disappointing.
Ive told my brother too before.
I "know" a lot of things.
Meaning, I understand what needs to be done, etc.
I know whats right whats wrong, what ought to be done.
But at the end of the day,
the action does not come.
Self discipline?
What's the point of knowing, but not doing it.
That's what i call letting yourself down.

peace

2006-05-08T17:28:00.000+08:00

Back

oh my, it has been...never mind aha.
in short, im posting.
wow, how rare =p

no post = gd times?
oh well, perhaps.
nonetheless lilttle ups n downs still...but,
yeah things had been quite fine =)

that does not include schoolwork though aha.
for physics and maths im probably still in tune...
but for maths, man, im behind...really behind.
havent been doing the past two tutorials i think..
not to mention im going to receive my maths quiz back tomorrow,
which is a definite fail =(
oh well. when will i wake up, again, muaha.

elections over.
didnt really follow it, watched bits and pieces only.
partly due to me playing and playing games again aha..
i wonder 20 years from now, still PAP?

come to think of it, my tolerence had reached a new high again aha.
meaning, i had better tolerence now?
or that im able to...just shut off aha.
smile smile smile =)

come to think of it,
this post is junk ahaha.
ive lost it.
am i blogging for the sake of blogging? i do not know.
in the 1st place i think i shall use my pinkies to count the
number of people reading this aha.

back to some random stuff.

the last weekend was so boring.
poor dear had to stay home and rush homework,
and poor me had to stay home and CHILL.
oops, aha.
slacked my weekends away.
a saturday at home, just sucks.
even my dad asked me to go out wahaha..

24/50, essay assignment.
not really sad, cause i rushed it off and was even wondering wther i would fail.
however,
content 16/30
LANGUAGE 8/30
ok, that saddens me ahaz.
oh well, at least ive alwaes known that i suck in my language...
" There are TOO much people....."
sheesh.

the topic i did had something to do with the past and the future.
thinking back, the past, is so....."scary" aha.
it commands a great power, in my view.
at least for me, if something triggers off, i might just ponder over it for some time.
that includes past, others, or me.
for mine, it includes friends primarily.
where are they now? aha.
once my good friends, now...aha.
at least i think they are doing well,
and oh well i dont really matter anyway aha =)
june holidays coming,
really hope to see my sec school friends again man..
ah...its been quite some time.

sheesh this post is so..random.
i dont know.
seems so "here and there".
whatever, i shall end.
the end

peace

2006-03-22T19:14:00.000+08:00

Thanks

Thank you people,
thank you dear.
Anyway i had to admit,
the cake really came as a surprise.
aha =)
and to the people who wished me happy birthday,
thanks, really.
ive said before to people,
as long as people wish me, im already very happy.
and this time round, there are many who came as a surprise,
cause i did not expect them to aha.
so, thanks to all of you =)

i was lucky to spend my evening onwards with dear aha =)
thanks for everything,
thanks for your "stars" aha,
thats sweet of you =)))))

i had the worst start to my birthday ever,
having to stay up til 4am to study and face the physics paper,
which i might just fail anyway.
but at least, i dint have the worst birth'day' every aha.

peace

2006-03-15T17:58:00.000+08:00

Back

back to the books.
feeling so stressed up now.
because of physics.
the inability to do questions is so demoralising.
have to finish studying physics before saturday.
have not touched econs yet.
still aiming for that A in physics.
but not when i cannot do the tys questions.
guess its time again to go mugging again.
hope i will not pms again aha.
and, having to search for your ruler for one minute,
when you know that its on the table,
just simply sucks.
and those you-know-what words just rattles off.
at least, im alone at home.
its so shitty being stressed.
but who isnt? aha.
guess i have to go for stress-management course.
anyone interested too? aha
back to my books i guess.

peace

2006-03-13T21:54:00.000+08:00

Relax

Saturday was quite a good day for me aha.
Went to play a little mahjong,
before going to play pool with zhan norman shirley yihan sherline peng yan.
relaxed for the whole day aha.
though lost money in mahjong but...never mind.
i just want to relax.
after a week of mugging.
been quite some time b4 i can relax and enjoy myself like this aha.
nice to see that siao and crappy sherline after some time too aha.
and dear was around there having her dinner too.
cool, that pig..........=p

sunday went to dear's house to watch vcd and supposedly study waha.
watched two shows in the end.
The Myth and 2046.
The Myth was not bad, so was 2046,
though 2046 was indeed chim ahaz.
and...it has alot of sex scenes eh waha -_-"
Tony Leong must be having a great time wth Zhang Zi Yi in filiming that show waha dotz.
didnt manage to study at all erps.
chilled and slacked the whole day ahaz.
nevermind, still got monday mah.

slpt til 11 plus i think.
very tired, had alot of wierd dreams dangs.
went to woodlands library with dear, intending to study.
but oh well, it was full so....
we went mahjong!!! ahahaz.
this time i never lose, she lost!!! ahaha.
oops. but oh well, she lose also = i lose..so...same same aha.

i like this feeling, of being relaxed and enjoying myself.
unlike that period of mugging.
sigh, i think the mood was so so different.
but i guess i have to get back to mugging soon i guess aha.
no time to waste already.
tomorrow going to woodlands library at 9 to study whole day.
hope tomorrow shall be productive aha.

how are the rest of the people doing? mmm.
hope all of you are working hard for our remainding papers aha.
remember to chill at times too ahaz..
=)

peace

2006-03-08T21:59:00.000+08:00

Common Tests

ah tommorow marks the beggining of our Common Tests.
all the best to 05S12!
=)
and oh well, sleep early aha.

(might go MIA for some time, see how things go aha)

peace

2006-03-07T20:15:00.000+08:00

What to say

dint go for the handball match.
not i did not want to.
just had no mood to do so.
just, tired.

aye, what should i say.
wrote a long entry.
decided to delete.
cause the source,
i don't know.
cannot be 100% sure, so,
decided to give the benefit of the doubt to them.
heck la, if any of you not happy with me, so be it la.
if any wans to badmouth me,
anything lo, its your mouth anyway.
if others choose to listen and believe in it anyway,
what can i say, aha.
if nothing of that sort is happening, then good lo.

sometimes i really wonder,
so what if you care for someone.
at the end of the day,
you just never know.
whats going to happen to you.

so tired of everything.
whatever i heard today, aha sucks la but,
shall not comment here,
in case it isnt fully reliable.

i need to talk.
with, some people.

common tests.
aye.
happy mugging.
if only that can happen to me now.
happy? aha

peace

2006-03-04T20:25:00.000+08:00

Homing-Saturday

it is saturday, and im at home whole day.
no choice, have to study for common test.
it is so...wierd though.
the feeling of being home on saturday.
its interesting to do my work halfway and realise that hey, tomorrow is sunday -_-'

school is becoming more and more...boring.
or maybe it just that friday.
oh well, heck aha.
at least im more immune to stuffs such as...
not being asked to go out for lunch when a big group is.
aha, should i feel left out?
oh well, so be it.
not the first time im not called for outings anyway aha.
at least the impact is getting smaller.
that is good, as i think there might be more to come aha.
talking about outcast.
im not outcasting, im being outcasted muaha.

im worried. of As.
statistics are worrying me.
whatever it is, i guess we all should just do the best we can.
never let ourselves down.

sometimes im just sick of everything.
today is not too bad.
i have the mood to study.
unlike yesterday.
just sick of everything.
i dont know.
im lost for words.
i dont see myself as a cheerful guy now.
in the past i can say im such an extrovert, such a talkative guy.
now, aha whatever.
sometimes it sucks too, being someone who doesnt take friendship lightly.
cause when you realise that you are actually a nobody, or just simply insignificant,
you feel it.

its so wierd.
it seems that there are so much inside me, that i want to say.
but,its so hard to even start typing the first word.
aye. whatever.
back to my work.
all the best to whoever is working hard now.
take care peeps.

peace

2006-02-27T17:46:00.000+08:00

Ben the mugger!

okay, im...sort of..."dead".
for one whole week i did not do any work?
talking about aiming to be a mugger aha.
never mind, ben is going to study from today onwards,
i hope.

last saturday got to play overnight mahjong again.
not i "jio" people play okay..=p
won 64, talk about removing norman's curse!
thanks to dear i was not THAT out of place in Yue Hua's birthday BBQ on saturday.
its nice seeing some of your friends whose names you can actually forget aha.

im seeing my classmates working hard,
jiayou!!
though at the same time stressing me aha.
cause...im NOT working waha.
but never mind, i am going to work on that aha.

anyway sorry that i did not join you guys for FD3 movie ya...
thought that its better that i go home early,
in order to start work early.
not that i did not want to go okay aha...
you guys must me missing me like crazy tsk tsk tsk.
anyway hope you guys enjoyed yourselves aha.
someone wrote all the work we had to do on our class blog right?
kudos to whoever it was! aha.
i happily joted all the work down...
today, i found the paper in my bag.
nothing was crossed out zzzz.
so screwed aha.

well well well.
come to think of it.
its near 6pm now.
and....im still at the computer, not bathed.
okokok ben the mugger is going off.
anyway i think im most probably not going to be online at night in the coming weeks.
before the common test at least i think aha.
try not to miss me ok?
(ok sorry that sounds gay)

peace

2006-02-22T21:48:00.000+08:00

Revived

aha ben teo is back to blogging i guess
after being missing in action for so long
behold for the lengthy posts =p
just like the past aha
though this time...
i think i shall use standard english?
aha, im training for GP!!!

SPA was over, and i shall not talk about it....
I DID IT TWICE
okokok nvm i shall not talk about it aha
its over and i hope all of us did it alrite =)

things recently had been..fine i guess aha
went to west coast park with dear yesterday
it was =) ahaz
though cannot meet so often soon aha
must mug already if not dIEEEEE
was satisfied wth my test results.til that trigo maths test
that was a 8/20 fail haiz
cant say much though, didnt really study
*shakes head*
never mind, still got common test =)

heard about somthing to do wth him
i guess im just not going to side with anyone
im definitely not going to pity him or whatsoever though
whether intentional, what happened happened
cant blame for whats happening next
looking into it and explanations are whats important now i guess

to people out there feeling stressed up
we are in this together
work hard but learn to relax at times ok?
though not as much as me of course aha =p
no time to blog anymore
10pm already and i have not touch my work
this post is just to say
im back!!! aha
( not like anyone really cares though aha )

peace

2006-02-09T20:41:00.000+08:00

CRAPERLOGY

other than my dear, family, and studies perhaps
i dunno wad else is goin right
when is ben the superman gonna fall
differences, changes
ben teo should juz shut his mouth and...
leave ppl alone
eh?
his stress his tiredness..whos there to see
pardon him but hes....
still still still "adaptin"

peace

2005-12-14T16:50:00.000+08:00

PLEASINGEVERYONE

The Man, the Boy, and the Donkey

A MAN and his son were once going with their Donkey to market.
As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said
“You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?”
So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way.
But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said
“See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”
So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself.
But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women,
one of whom said to the other
“Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”
Well, the Man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at.
The men said: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor Donkey of yours
—you and your hulking son?”
The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do.
They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole,
tied the Donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the Donkey to their shoulders.
They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge,
when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose,
kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole.
In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge,
and his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned.
“That will teach you,” said an old man who had followed them
“PLEASE ALL, AND YOU WILL PLEASE NONE.”

peace

2005-11-27T00:35:00.000+08:00

SUNDAY

its 12.37am aha
yay sundae
aha crap
after this entry
mayb i shall be a happier person muaha

at this pt, ya ok i noe its gonna be la
but...aye man
ok ur "pride/love.ichoosethelatteR"
iszit gotta do wth this huh
if it is
aye man, i dun understan how the hell did pride come about
i mean..
aha a reply 2 me represents pride?
aha i dunno
if ur goin to reply me,
its coz of pride
not bcoz im ur friend
ok

is it realli TAT hard to gimme a reply
or an email
is it?
even juz a reply saein ok we should not hav any contact at all
nono...its reallli tat hard huh i guess...
yeah daoing me the is the wae to go
i dun deny being affected by this, alot
why?
seeing a friend whom u care so much
juz totalli heck caring bout u
yeah..tats nice

aha nvm...
guess u dun need my care anymore
u no need to turn to me in times of difficulties anymore
wads a special friend
wads a guardian angel
aha all are crap perhaps

wadeva it is
at the end of the dae
fine, im juz a jerk
hu messed up ur life
n his
im sorry for everything
if only i nver appeared rite?

nonetheless, thanx for wadeva nice memories u left me
anw, nice display pic
seeing that..at least let me noe tat things r goin well for u 2 ba
all the best
for everything
i will be outta ur life for gd
p.s. juz block me on msn k

goodbye.
take care.

2005-11-21T22:31:00.000+08:00

SORRY

if i seemed like a bastard at times sry
if i seemed to b v dao at times sry
if i seemed to b v moody at times sry
might be happenin at this current time
i dunno la..juz...
dun care bout me la aha
i will be fine...
thus...sry..

i dun understan
iszit reallli realli tat hard
i mean...aye
dunno wad to sae alreadi
juz an sms
to even scold me or wadeva shit
however negative it may be
it will still make me feel betta
guesss tats not even comin
im weak, i noe i am
ive said im not gonna care
i not gonna talk or sms
but i still did
coz somehow i still care
aha nvm
guess its nt realli needed anymore
time to retract i guess
even so, i wanna noe
crap

my skin is so thin,
sometimes i wonder wther im as if an idiot
and come to tink of it
sometimes i realli tink...
im a redundent person in this world
makes no diff to anytin
here, ok, not here, so be it
gone, nvm, some1 else faster come
ahahaha...

its so true..the older u are.
the more worries u have.
oooh i sound so old aha
but come to tink of it
adulthood is approachin so fast
aha cool...
n im missin the young n innocent stage aha
come to tink of it
mayb when im much younger..
im enjoyin way too much
things r goin my wae..so much that..
now its time...
to balance things up
iszit?
aha beats me

bah, im still as optimistic as ever
i hope

peace

2005-11-19T22:33:00.000+08:00

MEMORIES

thanx to some gd luck..
i won 66 on a dae
thus cleard my debts wth zhan
though recently it seems tat bad luck is settin in again
aha jialat
now owein ppl $$ again
hope to clear it soon ahaz

had a walk back home juz now
2dae...many memories came back
jp...somehow thought of her
i dunno why things are like this rite now
ur sorry aint tellin me anytin
i dunnno
aye, wad to do

the bus went by her place...
an area i frequently went....
ahaz...at least shes doin gd now
gd 4 her...

walked past her hse when walkin back home
short but unforgettable past
at least shes doin well too...

come to tink of it, michelle lives in cck too aha
v long nnver hear from her alreadi
wonderin hows she..
but..im sure ur doin fine too aha

aha juz now mj..
at 1 pt..i juz dun feel like winning
even though i was losing
dunno wads wrong wth me waha
wierd....
realli wierd
quite messed up now actuali
quite a few unknowns here n there
hav to c how things go
though...
im sure the past is hauntin me
the fear of gettin hurt again...
ahaz...
nvm ben teo crappin again le
spare u guys off aha
take care people

peace

2005-11-08T21:28:00.000+08:00

JUSTHOWLONGMORE

this is gonna be a flaming post
or a whining post
wadeva u call it
im juz..beggin to b tired of it
lets c
lets just sae..everytin is goin downhill
or that i am suay
n i do mean, everytin
i wonder how llong ago muz i date it back til
lets just c...
ok screwed my promos...
can even fell aslp b4 maths paper
wow thats cool
lets c..mmm my mahjong winless streak
i wonder how long its stil gonna last
mm lets c
few daes back
went py hse
can step on his dog's shit
wow COOL
2dae
PW
this is the worst ever presentation
compared to the previous reherseals
which i seriously did wae much betta
my tongue was tied
holy crap
i cant belive my tongue can actualli be tied
oh n guess wad
i wore the polo tee to sch
how brilliant n smart
had to chiong back hm
came back in uniform
panting n sweatin like dogs n cats r fallin down the sky
i nver screw up on such impt daes
oh did i sae NVER
well i guess i DID
i alwaes hate it
when i noe i can do smth
but i dun in the end
maths paper
freakin pissed wth myself for gettin tat bloody low
im not allowed to get tat kind of marks
no excuse
shit to myself
doest do justice to my brain
op
i noe i can tok
not tat FANTASTIC of coz
im not pro, im not saein tat
but the wae i performed
holy crap
doesnt do justice to my mouth
relationships
4get bout it
wad else can i sae
woohooo..i wonder wad hav i done
nth real bad i can tink of
wow...wad should i do mmm
dunno leh, pray huh
how long more am i gonna suay
i shall be waitin
the next time i start winnin real $$ in mj
im gonna scream 4 joy
oh n it doesnt help tat pj cheated our freakin 30 bucks
oh did i 4get to mention
at this current time when everytin is so screwed up
some idiotic bastard can still come n freakin tok crap wth me
some1 whom i dunno
hu claims he noes me n noe my name
hes in my other email acc in the ah_ben_16 one
tats so long ago thus i cant trace hu iszit
testin my patience man
answerin wth the CRAPPIEST ans in the world
not this time alrite pal
hueva u are.
wooo n its so tyco
that i got a pimple b4 op wahhaa
NICE
mmm everytin juz pieces up nicely huh
lets c...daoing game
ahaz...thanx 4 plaein wth me...
even though u noe how much i hate it
nvm nvm
let me console myself wth smth...
okok think think think
wads gd..n positive
err okok i got my jay cd
YAY!!!!!!
wad else mmm
err i dint step on shit in py hse 2dae
YAY!!!!!
let me c
my internet connection nth wrong!!
if some dae u dun c me online
send me a sms
congrats to me
coz my net plaed out on me again
n i promise i wun be surprised
not a tiny bit
why?
wad shit things can still surprise me now
nice
come on man
how long is this gonna last
bring it on
i dun believe u can last tat long
yay this is a flame post
if uve read til here
i guess ive wasted ur time again
oops sry
sue me

peace

2005-11-06T20:12:00.000+08:00

ROT

home whole dae
wasted my time
oh well
wadeva
lets see
no more addicted to games
mahjong perhaps now
wad else can i do at home
cant do work in the dae
how how
tv, com, slack
great
too bored
thus bloggin
suddenly some thoughts came to mind again
nah not gonna pen it down this time
dunno y but
wadeva
woah crap this is a junk entry
sry for wasting ur time
coz im juz tryin to waste mine

peace

2005-11-05T23:23:00.000+08:00

LOST

things r moving
things r changin
real fast
im stagnant
watching on
how they juz pass my by
things r nver like the same b4
i dunno
its just so...diff
or iszit me
does the prob lie wth me
i dunno
the question comes again
wads goin rite
the ans remains the same
nothing
i wanna be crappy again
n be lame
n luff like nobody cares
mayb gonna rot at hm 2mr
tc peeps

peace

2005-11-04T02:59:00.000+08:00

CRAPLOAD

seldom hav i felt so downright dumb
dint realise that it was me til yest
if i dint tok wth jy
i might not have known bout it even til now
freaking stupid

i noe i cant realli do much now
should i bother to explain anytin now?
i dunno perhaps not
hope things will turn out fine for u 2

is she gonna leave me too
i dunno...perhaps
well it seems like it
yea one by one..
gd bye my friends..those whom i care

y iszit tat things r not goin well again
nth seems right
coupled by the facts the memories r flowing back
after i start to read the msg hist...
damm shouldnt have read it
aye wadeva

y aint i a person hu 4gets things easily
me seeing her at lot1 the other dae even affected me
aye, this shouldnt be happening
wadeva...

its 3am and i dun wish to slp
and i dunno why
1st time w/o drinkin coffee im still wide awake
when will things start goin rite

memories r alwaes there
for gd, or for bad

peace

2005-10-25T22:50:00.000+08:00

PRACTICAL

gim,
i blogged
aha =p

ppl r saein im not bloggin
but heyyyy i am ok..
juz waitin 4 the rite moment
to sae the right stuff =)

we've gotten back our promos results
well...some r ok..some r gd..some r bad
n i do hav smth to sae...
this entry is to mainly 05S12 peeps =)
listen up
its ben teo talkin waha...

now lets start of..wth ben teo's results aha
maths 54/100
physics 45/100
econs overall should be 40/100
well well
scrap thru?
plus my CA theres gonna b siginicant improvements
my CA helped me ALOT
im promoted
but im lucky
understand that
now, some of the class dint manage to clear
at least...its below 10...
there r few, that i tink wun get to take reexam
now, im gonna b frank n stuff..no offence
but im juz wantin to get my pt across
there r some things which i may hav said b4
but im gonna sae it again anywaez
for e.g spencer
after promos from wad he told me
i knew he aint gonna do well at all
if u guys noticed
i dint sae realli much to him
compared to ppl such as bryan pg or shirley etc.
n why is that so?
not bcoz i dun care bout him
i do, alot
but 1 thing i noe is that,
i do feel that JC aint realli 4 him
another pt to note is that
he is a mature adult now
he realli noes how to think for himself
he noes wads best for him
he has plans for poly
n im supporting him
im not tellin him to pray for a retain
nor askin him to go MI
coz, i do feel that poly route is betta for him
for rod,
he is suitable for JC no doubt
i can see him scoring for As
he can, he chose not to
come to this pt, i tink we shouldnt b ptin at sally for e.g
i do feel that its his studies
hes in control
come to this pt i hope that he does buck up
i wan to c him takin the As
coz i noe he can
hope he retains or go MI,
and mug hard
if not. all the best for him in poly...
one thing that i hope u guys noe
im not some1, hu tries to giv false hopes
nor some1 hu likes to act humble or smth
MOST of the times, im direct straightforward
when i sae i might be retainin, im speakin the truth
when i sae i tink i might fail, its the truth
im not tryin 2 be humble or wad
take note of that
think my results for this promos proved this pt
thus, when im tellin u guys of wads probable or smth
plz..do trust ben teo..at least a lil...
as a matter of fact, im quite a practical person at times
if u can see it
in wad waes am i practical
rmb bryan when i was tokin 2 u?
when im tellin, is actualli how to b practical
im practical bcoz,
i dun wan to worry bout so much things
i would rather use the energy n time to study
wads the pt of complainin isnt it
iszit gonna change anytin nor help anytin
if no, do sometin constructive, thus studying.
im seeing u feelin at least betta rite now
tats gd =)
confidence is smth one must have
n sometin that i see lacking in some ppl
take bryan n pg for e.g
if u guys do noe, u guys hav a flair for a certain sub
be confident bout it
unless ur tellin me u did screw up or smth or dint study...
yeah tats another case..
if not..yeah hav some confidence man..
aha like pg..im tellin u dun wry for ur chi A rmb
n ur like telling me how its still not a pass n ur not sure n stuff..
in the end B rite...69 somemore...
aha confidence..its impt..that goes to same for u tooo bryan =)
wheres that bryan that said " im gonna thrash vincent for computing in promos"
i wanna c the confident u
shirley, i noe ur worried for ur promos
i am too, n to b honest im most worried for u
im not scarin u or wadeva again
like i said im straightforward
its not cfm ur gettin a reexam
due to ur econs being an unknown
however after tham said u can use chi
n my calculations too for ur econs...
i do tink that u stand a high chance
so dun wry too much kies..
ive spoked to u tat dae too..plz take note...
plan...noe wad u wanna do..its impt..
dun cry alreadi k =p
b strong...tell urself ur gonna score for the reexam
tell urself
u hav 1 month plus
u hav no reason to fail
tell urself
ur gonna mug, score, promote, score As, go uni
aha i tink S12 doesnt noe rite..
ben teo scared of gals cry de so....
dun cry la can..wahhaa
in short,
its quite "simple"
rod, i hope he is able to repeat, or MI
spencer, i hope he does well in poly
the rest takin re exam, dun tink so much
juz mug, mug, mug
then score for ur Re exam

the promos also led me me tinkin of how we study n stuff
1st, lets clear the misconception that ben teo is smart blah blah b stuff aha
ive heard many times, saein..
ben teo is smart..thus no probs one la aha n stuff..
now now...tats wrong aha..
there are, i agree, ppl that r realli reali born smart,
such that they study minimal,
yet attain gd results
there are, but few
n im definitely not one of them
n i dun tink there are any in this class, trust me
zhu rui is havin a slight chance, still pending wahaha
clear the misconception, that ben teo slps, slacks, but can score sia waha
now now...1stly...i did well only for the 1st 2 terms liddat only...
yea i slp alot..in lectures esp...
yet my tests did quite well..
bcoz im smart? aha no wae
i study from 11pm til 2am at least mon - thur in tat period of time
i told u guys 11 pm my primetime rite aha
no tv no com
no distraction
juz radio music n study
i slp in lectures
but in tat 4 hrs
i self study, n do my work
it helps
thus i can clear my tests
i come to sch real slpy
coz i slp damm late
its a cycle
a bad one
dun follow me
its a bad e.g
but im used to it
n it works 4 me
thus im still stickin by it aha
r u guys using 4 hrs of quality time at least everydae to study?
now does tat better explained y im doin quite gd 4 my CA?
now, im not boastin or smth
im juz provin a fact,
that me, like u guys, needs to put in effort in order to score
there must be effort
term 3
i slacked
realli slacked
u guys c me failin n stuff isnt it
no effort, no score
simple as that.
rmb bryan, how u were so dejected bcoz uve put in so much effort
yet u still flunked ur maths
u asked urself why study so hard when in the end u still fail isnt it
well, 1 thing is
mug doesnt guarantee u v gd results
but i personalli feel
mug doesnt giv u shit results at least
im equalli puzzled y u flunked, considerin the ur effort
but since thats the case, im v sure smth went wrong
i hope uve realised by now why u flunked it
once again, to be practical, =p
instead of being dejected n negative,
discouraged by the fact that u failed
go n find out why iszit this case
fix the prob
n ur onur wae
isnt it? =)
our combi maths phy econs
i personalli feel that we can take consolation in that
muggin will giv u results
if we r in arts stream
if im not wrong, i believe muggin doesnt = results rite?
it takes flair n stuff..
if ur a mugger..
u wun b failin ur maths n phy atleast im sure..
econs...im startin to feel that it can b a mugger sub too
im still tryin to sense it aha
1 thing i muz sae
PLZ PLZ PLZ
do not giv up nor b discouraged easily
bryan n shirley ah, u 2 proned to this ok aha...
esp bryan u ah aha..
plz plz plz b more positive ok!!! =)
n shirley...
im alwaes worried when u start rolling ur eyes
it seems that u changed into another person when u does that
then either u would b v v niao,
or v negative ahaz..
take note okies aha muz b le guan!

mmm come to anther pt..
rmb the j2 departin speech or smth liddat by shawn goh ( dunno iszit spelt liddat aha )
he mentioned bout how hes aint happi
when in we won some other top jcs in some competitions
n that when announcin the results they would sae we beat them ( the top jcs )
and then the sch would cheer
he aint happi why r we givin them credit
we won the comp
so be it
y specialli mention them
n i nodded my head, agreein wth him
teachers may sae
they may tell, things such as
they dun expec us to be like them etc.
but guess wad, im lookin at ours on par wth them
in terms or quality of students
in the sense of results wise n stuff
do i tink that they r generalli "smarter" than us?
yea perhaps
for the same grade they may require less effort
i agree
but can we attain great results?
definitely
heard tat 70% of our cohort goes to uni successfuli
no wae am i wantin to c that for our cohort
juz bcoz we r a "hearlanders jc" as mentioned by dennis yeo
therefore we r satisfied wth this?
the fact is, does it reflect our capabillity
im not askin for a higher % than the top jcs
but iszit possible?
yes
but not for our batch
coz 4 tat to b possible, its gonna take more yrs.
i would personalli sae 90% is definately probable
lets take our class for eg.
after the promos
for those hu are able to to successfully promote to J2
i would sae
i can see all of u guys goin uni
n for a fact our class is one ofthe realli weaker classes in the sch?
so, why not?
if the whole class works real hard
i can see us all goin uni
confidence n target settin is impt
i hav confidence that we can all make it
provided we r serious,
not like how we were this yr
believe it ourselves we can do it man
bcoz we r from pjc thus only 70% makes it to uni
bullshit

due to the career seminar
ntu bought me over from nus
3 yrs honours course for accounting
real tempting
should b aimin for that
aim for my As at LEAST
Maths - A
Physics - A
Econs - B
should b able to get into ntu accounting
its my aim
aint gonna b easy
but im still gonna strive for it
wads urs?
work 2wards it man

i dun wan to see S12 disbanded
im gonna miss ppl hu r gonna leave
i dun wanna miss too many
for those given the chance for re exam,
sit down
mug hard
get the re exam over wth
its only ONE shot
u cant afford to screw it up
facing any probs feel free to look 4 me
wth regards to anytin
wan study 2gther?
np
juz let me noe
wadeva it is
u guys r not alone
ppl r ard to help n accompany
juz open ur mouth n ask =)

sheesh i wrote a super long entry rite aha
thought i hav more to write
but im gonna stop
to spare u guys from anymore misery aha
5 pages drq 5 marks
OMG OMG OMG
my drq needs serious help aha
ohoh and jay's new song ye qu is so nice
lookin 4ward to its new album
pre-ordered alreadi..any1 wans his giant poster?
dun mind givin it awae..
only 4 GALS though wahaha
kk jk...aha..
im like so not bias de aha..
kk its 12 15
ciao guys

peace

2005-10-20T20:39:00.000+08:00

LEARNIN

washing my hands off
mayb some ppl dun deserve my attention
or mayb im juz being a nuisance
either wae
im washing my hands off,
again

peace

2005-10-16T21:45:00.000+08:00

EXPLODE

fridae overnite mahjong
won 40 in the end
not bad..can start returnin norman $$..
til...( to be cont )

sat morn reached hm
supposed to go shirley hse wth yh
chatted online halfwae
intended to lie 4 a min
dint noe i feel aslp immediately aha
woke up at 1 plus
slpt for like 2 or 3 hrs only
then start to prepare to go town..
for the puppet show at esplanade

the show is realli wonderful
i like the wae they used puppets
to showcase smth deep, smth serious
basicalli it toks bout the diff stages of life
a toddler at 1st,
needin assistance n help all the time
n when dropped into the "hole"
which means like depression or unhappiness n stuff
some1 will b there, to guide him out
then came the teenage yrs
now, ur old enuff to go in n come out of the "hole"
its u, that decides whter u wanna b in that "hole" or out
next came the workin adult
due to stress from work n stuff
he may juz crumble, n fall into the hole
but wad to do
he still muz climb out of the "hole"
in the show
the puppet's face is bleedin
yet, when he comes out from the hole
he wears back the mask that shows his perfect face
its to hide the pain inside him
n cont wth his life
finalli its the last stage of life
where u r old
u may be senile
n u may not let go of ur loved ones
thus in the show,
the granny still thought that her husband is wth her
though in fact he is alreadi dead

the show is realli great
do catch it if u can guys
simple props
nth fanciful
juz skillful manipulation of the puppets
and great portrayal of issues

2dae went zhan hse plaed mahjong again
2 rd, lost 32
sighz..
sry ah norman it will take some time
b4 i return u the money ahaz...

somehow, i thought of her during the play
wads wrong wth me
oh well
at least now that im outta ur life
u should b outta mine too
i hope the dae comes real soon

i may be in the process of losing another friend
sometin shocked me
and realli disappointed me
i hope that it aint gonna happen
but oh well
once again
i matter to noone
y should anyone matter to me

i almost 4got
im somehow bought over by ntu
was inclined to goin nus
but after that career seminar..
3 yrs accounting honours course is too attractive
yet competition is tough
triple Bs cant get there
k rite now my aim is set
A A B
B for econs
lets work 2wards our aims peeps..

i need slp
yet i dint touch my maths yet
hope 2dae i wun falll aslp accidentalli again

peace

2005-10-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

STRESS

promos results out soon
next week in fact
ppl r worried
nth surprising
we all are
but wadeva it is
lets all try and be calm n composed k?

maths results r supposedly leaked
according to those results
some failed
wad i can sae is
for these ppl
dun despair
juz work hard once again
lets hope u guys get the RE
n make sure u guys score 4 it k?
help is alwaes nearby
like me! aha
though u noe..my results may not convince u
2 look 4 me la aha
promos aint a joke
yeah...
all of us r stressed
but wadeva it is
i believe that u guys can do it alrite?
juz pia somemor k?

1 thing i muz sae is that
hmm i might fail my promos too u noe aha
no joke
though i do agree wth bryan aha
that ok i do hav a gd chance of passin
fair enuff, but im not confident bout it
yea hence..we r all in the same boat
even if i fail all my 3 subs
im juz gonna mug mug mug
pray for RE
then score
n thats wad i hope u guys gonna do ok? =)
its not that i cant understan wad u guys r feelin u noe
like ive said b4
in chi high sec 3 i had RE RE exam aha
not juz RE exam noe
is RE RE aha
though i agree its not as "serious" as PROMOS
but im facin the risk of being expelled then too
muggin in the hols is nth fun at all
ive gone thru it
but well, wad to do rite
but anw
failin maths not = failin promos
though i noe many includin myself aint confident bout phy
but oh well
wad to do but juz mug isnt it aha

siraj had a long talk wth us during gp lesson
i love hearin him talk bout such stuff aha
well, i suppose the gp results aint tt great
well, lets keep our fingers crossed aha
but the reality of scoring for our As is crashin down on us isnt
i mean, lets juz assume we all promote
in half a yr's time or more we r gonna sit for our As
its a one shot which we cant screw up
if nth of huge significance happens to our class
i can sae we r doomed
promos made me realise
how slack i was gettin from term 3 onwards
it made me feel scared
n i hope all of us are
next yr im gonna work hard
n i hope we as a class will too =)
70% of the cohort goes to uni
for one of the rare occasions where i disagree wth siraj,
no, its not gd at all
man, i dun like this statistic
its realli low
n it scares me
yeah he may sae we cannot compare wth hc rj etc.
but nah
i dun see the significant line drawn b/w us n them
i believe all of us r capable of betta than 70%
the entire conhort came to jc,
for the ticket to uni
w/o uni, we r seriously finished
its a fact that a poly diploma worths more than a As cert
we would hav wastedd 2 yrs in jc
then wad r we gonna do next
esp guys
wth the ns as well
its realli tat bad
we cant afford to flunk our As
im hopin though most of us get thru the promos at least
aha ive even thought of my route liaoz
if i realli fail my promos n in the end kenna retain
MI
2 mor yrs
hope it doesnt happen aha
no more negative attitudes
no more discouragin thoughts
next yr im gonna be in 05s12
n so are all of u =)

peace

2005-10-09T01:10:00.000+08:00

SICK`N`TIRED

congrats
gd 4 u
ur outta my life
all the best
im was just a fool

im tired, very
sometimes...
aye 4get bout it
promos over
but..
i cant totalli enjoy myself
coz i noe
im not 100% promote
n the feelin sux
noeing that i hav not a single sub
tt im confident of passin
this is so pathetic
considerin my CA was alrite
a 3 fails aint impossible 4 me
oh well
for the v fact tt i cant even b confident
n sae tt i will AT LEAST pass my maths
this exam i have i failed
maths has smth im confident of
n i cant even b sure of passin it
how great
to think ive been helpin ppl wth their work
hmm so sry guys
u guys had been askin some1 who might fail his promos
savin others when u cant save urself
hope u dun drag them down along wth u
i cant imagine being retained
aye man
n it doesnt help that i get some small "pissedoffs"
every now n then
take it its my fault
but im v tired
sick of studyin
sick of lies
sick of false front
sick of being unhappi
sick of worrying
sick of everytin
y dun i hav a lower intelligence
so that i see things less
so that i think lless
n go on each dae luffin my brains off
my eyes r closing
but i noe i shouldnt slp
coz i wanna touch on my phy
feel aslp juz now accidentalli
coz im too tired
due to mahjong 2dae
shirley yihan gim...nah im not pissed la alrite?
no frets..
if theres anytin..the prob is also wth me la
i dunno wad im blabbering about
i dunno my promos could be this shit
i dunno my self discipline sux to the core
i dunno i could b made such a fool by a girl
wadeva it is
take it tt everytin is my fault
im to blame for everytin
im sick n tired alreadi...

its after promos
n hav fun n chill out guys

peace

2005-09-11T19:57:00.000+08:00

WEAK

im weak sia
great self discipline i hav
8pm now
still nth done
aye

k in response to my wasted 1 week
for the comin 3 weeks..
hmmm..
everydae use com 1 hr only haha
no more mahjong totalli..
yea tts bout it
hence any1 need contact me or smth
sms or call me k
most prolly wun find me online
coz i wun go online at nite
as i will chat til im darn tired n slp aha
sms still betta
needa study
haiz
realli poor self discipline aha

still cant get u out of my mind
wad to do
aye

peace

2005-09-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

MUG?

rite on the 2nd last dae of hols
ben teo realised
he dint touch ANYTIN of his work
hes screwed he noes
hes not panickin he noes too =p
coz why?
routine le ma aha
alwaes 1st dae of sch reopen
he v gan chiong de
coz hw all not done
scared sia ahhaa
haiz but this time abit diff seh

promos comin
3 weeks zzz
i havent revise anytin
all the tests i all chiong last min
hence 4got almost all le
im wae behind the class
coz i slp in lectures ahaha
self study is can
but takes alot of time
n im wastin them
aye gonna start studyin

no more mahjong til promos over
this is official aha
no more tft til promos over
official too
other than tt
any non-addictive entertainment still call me k aha

ai cuo by wang li hong is so nice
go dl if u dun hav it
ask fr me if u wish
if heard b4 hear it again aha

i cant b distracted anymore
aye i shall try
tahan 3 weeks
then back 2 the ultimate slacker again
=Pp

k le gtg start doin work now
my aim..do til 4 am
wake up at 10
tidy my rm
afternoon work again aha
ciao peeps

peace

2005-09-09T22:24:00.000+08:00

MINDMADEUP

back from hk bout 2 daes le
hk trip was well..fun.aha
though 1 or 2 incidents there..
well beer there was cheap
S$1 + for a can
=))

yest was jk bdae
went hc 2 eat the delicious ice cream cake
b4 goin goin DOTA wth them n had dinner 2gther
dad called durin the dinner
sometin unhappi happened again
aye
well..is my temper gd or bad aha
neither here nor there i guess
there r juz somethings i would flare up about
juz dun hit on them if not i quite ok ba aha
esp accusing me or smth
if not i would flare up
tts y yest at hm had a "talk" wth dad again
aye
y doesnt things realli go well recently hmm
well
at least ive made up my mind on some stuff

not buying mahjong
realised that next yr As liaoz
next yr cannot realli plae mahjong le
hence buy also no use
plae 4 this yr only

next im gonna try n well study aha
seems so ever impossible
gonna try though
gonna ask jordain get me mor chewing gums
no more slpin in lectures aha =p

lastly
im moving on
the longer u stay in my heart
the longer i hurt perhaps
no pt havin the one u love in ur heart
when she doesnt love u
yea..im movin on...

there r so many "if only"s in life
no pt regrettin
wads not urs
is not urs
shes seems fine n well
n im happi 4 u
if only,
wad uve told me tt time
was real

left wth 2 daes of hols
i havent touch a SINGLE thing
im such a genius
ciao

peace

2005-09-02T10:16:00.000+08:00

CYA

leavin for hk in a few hrs time ba aha...
hmm nth to sae
juz feel like bloggin muaha
well take care peeps...
n "try" to hav fun la
coz i noe u all cant
as im awae =Pp
aha no lah cya guys on wed..
ciao...

peace

2005-08-30T23:05:00.000+08:00

JUSTANOTHERDAY

nth interestin 2dae
had spa though
which i would prolly screw it up
dunno
heck
most meaningful thingey 2dae
would be GP lesson
Siraj shared alot of stuff wth us
atualli i look up to him
" My life is quite perfect. Because i made it that way "
yeah i like his confidence
i like the way he is in control of his life
not the other way rd
guys, next time try not to slp la
wad he saes is realli meaningful aha
after sch went mahjong
lost
hmm..not quite expected it aha
well..when ur relationship is down..
supposedly..ya...i said it once
well not this time
if only its bcoz theres room 4 salvation
however..i dun tink its tat case ba..
nah i cant b havin such hopes...
coz i noe most prolly it wun happen ba
2mr might be playin tong xiao mahjong
hope my luck will be betta aha
any guys im goin hk on fri
anyone wans anytin juz tell me ya
i will try n get it 4 u aha

tink things r gettin betta 4 u i hope?
if tts the case gd 4 u...
cont tat wae ba...
take good care of urself plz

peace

2005-08-28T23:49:00.000+08:00

BYE

take back all my words from last entry
coz they dun matter anymore
all the best
from the bottom of my heart
tc

peace

2005-08-28T18:41:00.000+08:00

WADEVA

dunno wads wrong again
havin the bad feeling again
not confident of our relationship
why iszit that u keep daoing me
do u noe how that feels
close friends of mine should noe
i dun like it, at all
why iszit that things r..diff
u make me wonder
how impt am i to u
do u care bout me
are u concerned bout me
i noe ur havin family probs
tts y i did try 2 understan
but sometimes...
even when ur havin fun..
i wonder..do u tink of me
1 whole dae of not smsin
i tink it doesnt realli matter to u, iszit
ive realised we smsed each other more
b4 we got 2gther
why?
no more gd nitez from u...
replies gettin slower...
ur begginin 2 dao me
yes u blame me 4 plaein mahjong...
i noe plaein mahjong is bad..
in the sense tt gambling is bad
yet at least do u noe y i plae mahjong
as far as ive rmbed
i havent used a single cent of my winnings
for myself
i owe norman 50 bucks
tts y recently i kept askin ppl 2 plae mahjong
n do u noe why i owe norman $$?
i guess not
wanted to meet u on thur
then in the lib u told me ur not gonna meet me
u said ur gonna work
did u rmb tts our month-a-versary
i dunno. i hope u did tt time
but well its alrite..u had ur probs n needa work..
hence well..ok im fine wth it
but in case u dint noe...
at tt moment u told me u cant meet me
i was so damm disappointed
u noe?
nvm..u told me that we shall change it to sundae...
in replacement for thur..yeah at least i can smile a lil..
n yest u told me again u cant meet me
coz ur meetin shirley?
did u rmb tt u said sundae is to make up for our lost thur?
mayb u do mayb u dun
im juz..aye
i needa meet u
i needa giv u smth
i dint get the chance
i cant even get to tok 2 u
u dao my sms now n then
ive alreadi given in alot
i dunno whter uve realised tt
or mayb to u i did nth
i dunno...im tired u noe
its as if a one-wae street
here i m givin my everytin
yet standin in the cold not receivin anytin
im not askin 4 much
juz some care n concern
n love
i dunno
wad more do u wan me to do
i dunno where r u now
i dunno wad r u doin now
i hope ur fine..
aye
hu am i to u
i dunno
mayb 1 dae
i got knocked down by a car
got admitted to hospital
u will nver noe..til mayb shirley tell u
coz even when i dun sms u
u wun even sms me, rite
will u even tink of why i dint contact u
will u wry about wther smth happened
i dunno
but it seems 2 b quite negative..
i dunno
love is 2 sided
its not bout me. its bout us
im leavin for hk on fri le
i wanna spend time wth u b4 i leave
when i ask wther i can see u b4 fri..
i wished the ans would be a yes..
or even "i would try"
haiz
mayb..i juz dun deserve ur love
aye
im so tired
do u love me
if u dun love me anymore
let me noe

recently it aint been a gd period for some ppl
take care ppl..
time helps
just hang on there

peace

2005-08-22T20:55:00.000+08:00

TIRING

2dae pe ran 8 rds in total
paced pengyan for 6 rds
paced normaed for 2 and 1/2 rds
well at least they got the results in the end
nver waste my energy aha..
though my legs r like givin wae le
zzz

got back maths test
well passed it
though i predicted i would fail
it was luck
told afiq that i would realli fail 4 it b4 the test
hey im not tryin 2 be sarcastic or wad k...
realli luck...
well, pengyan got 27/28
gd score but..
well...though many not pleased wth him
due to some...well actions aha..

im such a slacker rite now
even im not studyin at my prime time
11pm onwards..
haiz this goes on n my promos is gone
well..hope things will change...

this period of time hasnt been the best
dear,
i noe ur facin difficulties
anytin u can juz tell me k
im alwaes here 4 u i swear
i realli hope u wun work there
lets try 2 tink of other solutions?
even if i havta work to help u
so be it..its alrite
juz hope that..ya..u wun work there
anytin dun keep it to urself k?
talk it out
talk to me
*hugs*

im so tired
hope coffee helps me later
if not im so so screwed
no one dies a virgin
coz life screws us all up
a quote i read last time
how applicable now aha...

peace
i will alwaes be here for you dear
love you
*muacks*

2005-08-18T20:17:00.000+08:00

LONER

nah i went against wad ive said earlier
im still not "happY"..
when? i dunno
all i noe is im burstin to blog
aye

if u c ur friend saein hes gonna fail his test
n he told u why
such as not touchin the notes n studyin etc.
wad would u do

1. try to console him or encourage him to start studyin or smth.
2. ask him whther iszit ur fault.

if u go smth like number 1..well..ok..i like such friends
if u go smth like number 2..just fuck off
esp at this period of time 4 me
so mayb its best u keep outta my sight
is it an intended "joke" or "niaosm" there?
i dunno
perhaps
but sry not at this time
i dun need such agitations now
ive alreadi had enuff
i need care n concern
i doubt im gettin it

suddenly, i feel like a loner
an antisocial
dunno
my mouth is gettin lazier again
but oh well
does it realli matter in the 1st place
mayb not
tink my prescence is insignificant anw
suddenly, i feel out of place in class
or am i alwaes out of it
juz tt i dint notice
slowly im creepin into a dark corner
hu noes at the end of the 2 yrs
a person then rmbed
oh, ben teo is our class huh
im lame
but oh well..
this pathetic guy has juz asked himself a question
tt he had nver asked b4
do i have friends
oh my, wad a loser

wads this
a period to test ben teo's perseverence and determination or some crap?
y do i see nth tts goin rite
ok family is still ok..nth much..glad
other than tt..wads gd?
oh..a consolation perhaps
an easy maths paper 2dae
which i dint touch at all yest
tink can pass
yea yea tts prolly the one gd thing tt i can tink of

if any1 reads this n feels uncomfortable or smth
im so sry but..yea wad to do
mayb u might tt im whining
tt im weak
or im such a loser
but well..i rarely whine do i
so juz let me whine 4 once can
im juz so tired of everytin
im alwaes encouragin ppl to b optimistic
n now...i dunno how 2 encourage myself too
i see no light

left wth 2 econs test
left wth 2 weeks liddat b4 term ends
promos is so comin
intial aim : A B C
now : pass pass pass
lost all will to study
will still try nonetheless

thanx shiru sherline gim n bryan for listenin to me
not to 4get spencer also aha
4 lettin me not feel so lonely in sch
shiru hope u do well for ur studies ya
dun wry too much..juz work hard u will b fine =)
anytin can juz look 4 me..
but i believe u 2 will b fine de ya..dun wry..
gim..i noe ur havin ur probs as well..
anytin can juz tok 2 me also de ya..
dun only u listen to me...aha...
spencer..u wun b readin this aha
but juz hope tt u will jia you n pia the promos!
bryan...dun wry lah dude everytin should b fine aha =)
sherline...err..get well frm ur cough? aha

dear, i noe ur havin some probs
juz to let u noe..anytin..u can tok 2 me de
if u wish la of coz...
if tokin 2 others is betta then of coz go ahead..
well..plz take care

aye
goin off
ciao

peace

2005-08-15T18:04:00.000+08:00

WAD MORE

slpt 3 hrs+ for the past 2 daes
tears flowed for the past 2 daes
heartache for the past 2 daes
does anybody care
do u?
wad else do i hav to do
i dunno

not bloggin til ben teo is back to normal
i feel like an idiot
a retard
lets wait
til i understan wads "happy" again

peace

2005-08-11T19:20:00.000+08:00

Random

juz a short post
2 let out some disappointment
wad iszit tt disappoints me
ppl givin up, easily
ppl keep comparin
ppl keep tinkin bout the past
ppl keep criticising the present
ppl hu dun adapt
ppl hu dun adjust
ppl hu dun make do wth wad they have
ppl hu dun realise how fortunate they r

life is wad we make out to be isnt it
sometin may be bad
sometin may not be wad u wan
a situation may not be wad u hoped 4
but wad to do
whine? curse? swear?
wads the pt
it aint gonna change anytin isnt it
a change of attitude or perception might help
alot
make full use of wad we r given
exploit it
even if u hate smth
gain smth out of it still
beats sittin there frownin which doesnt help anytin

aha im not pissed
juz havin some thoughts
aye
tink im gonna wash my hands off some stuff ahaz
wadeva
ciao peeps

peace

2005-08-09T21:03:00.000+08:00

NATIONAL DAY

hmmm nice national dae eve
boring national dae ahaz
mon went to sch for celebrations
nth "spectacular" ba...
ok mayb the dance is quite nice..
for the guys perhaps? muaha =p
but then got the old folks performin
wheee~ tts realli nice...
still rmb got 1 uncle...
erm called uncle sali? ( erm sounded liddat )
he plaed the harmonica...
n hes realli cool n funky lah muaha
its realli a joy lookin at him
isnt it nice
to grow old n still b as active n happi as him?
the old folks' performances are the only ones
tat made me realli clap my hands
*applause* *applause* =)

then went home a while b4 goin to lot 1
plaed pool wth bro
sheesh my pool sucked now muaha
darn long no plae le
coz mahjong took over its place aha
though i also long time no plae mahjong le la
not gonna plae til promos ba
muz conc ahaz
if not when studyin my head will go
"pong!" "chi!" "hu!!!" =p
wah then at kpool saw duojie n joe
ok damm tyco
but gd lah..can c them
1 is my sec4 friend
the other 1st 3 months de
now both at aj same class aha
qiao ah qiao ah...

finish le went home AGAIN lo
then later evenin went marina wth dear
sheesh walked alot tt dae aha
n y it rained!!!
v muddy v jialat aha
well at least got to hear FIR aha
dint get to c them though..
saw guo ping chao n errr some magician aha
hu cares.. rite? =p
the fireworks was realli nice...
15min i tink...
short? long? dunno leh ahaz...
dear next time we go again okie? =)
had a difficult time reachin the mrt aaha
walked darn long
esp tt expresswae
nver endin de zzzz
finally reached hm near 3
tired
2dae wanna go out de aha
but no lobang
so...stone at hm lo ahaz...

went dota-in wth chi high friends for 2 sats le
expensive entertainment for me seh aha
but nvm lah its nice to c u guys again =))
gamin is alwaes a gd wae
2 bring ppl 2gther? muahaha
anw juz hope 2 c more of u guys again lo ahaz
yeah yeah? =)

smth's changed
hmmm...why?
i hav no idea too
attitude changed
esp 2wards me
cant stand it at times
but bo bian
mayb i'll juz
oh well stay awae muaha
dun care so much liaoz
wadeva

hmmm ok lastly...
sounds stupid but
HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!

peace
love you

2005-08-05T23:47:00.000+08:00

Unforgettable night

2dae being the slacky fridae..
nth much in sch lo ahaz...
after sch went to np wth dear..
then met up wth classmates at canteen 2
makan a lil then they gone to town lo aha
GALS SHOPPIN
tsk
then stoned at np bus stop for 1 hr liddat....
torture sia ahaz...but worth it la =p
wth dear, jiahao n tracy at atrium..i tink
then went to teach dear maths
woah np lib realli zai..
darn nice..then 5 levs...
had quality personal time wth dear..
=))
then dear pei me to west mall
buy shoes lo...tt adiddas realli cmi liaoz aha
then haiz dear found out she lost her ez link n student pass
went to search 4 it n asked ard...
still dun hav...
dear dun b sad le k...
next time b more careful can le k?
n dun wry bout the $$ yep?
dun b sry also..
its not ur fault...
so...cheer up can? =)
mayb tink more of the happi times la...
dun dwell on it 2 much le k??
u still hav ur dear to support u =p

promos comin le..
hmmm...
i noe the CA results may not b gd
4 some ppl...
but wads impt is tt we look 4ward n pia yea?
shirley ah...dun tink of np le ya...realliz.z..
juz look ahead n pia...
u tink i like pj now meh..
liked it
hate it now
but bo bian ma..so lets make full use of it
n chiong our As ya..
at least we hav a wonderful class dun we?
yep yep...so lets all work hard ya...
promote as 05S12 yeahh?

hmmm k le gtg le...
tc every1...

love you
peace

2005-07-27T21:28:00.000+08:00

I love you

I just want to tell you...
I love you.

If tomorrow never comes, I love you.
If something should ever happen, I love you.
If you are ever hurt and need someone, I'll be that someone.
Because...
I love you.
If we never see each other again, I love you.
If the sun never rises, and we live in darkness, I love you.
If I ever experience the fear of being alone, I'll think of you.
Because...
I love you.
If you look to the stars, remember, I love you.
If you are ever alone, remember, I love you.
If you ever consider suicide, I'll make you reconsider.
Because...
I love you.

If you feel you can't go on, remember, I love you.
If you feel life isn't worth living, remember, I love you.
If you need someone to love or hold, remember me.
Because...
I love you.

i love u dear =)

______________

2dae sch was...tirin
coz i keep wantin 2 slp but muz gek
darn torturin
3/2 hrs of econs
wantin 2 slp like nuts
zzz darn tired la..
then pw slack there got 3/2 hrs again aha...
wah dun dare tok so much liaoz
2dae shirley bias towards me again muaha
scared scared liaoz

then after sch went plae mahjong..
at zhan hse
sheesh 2dae damm lucky
won 37
its true tt ur luck is gd when ur relationship is down
but not true
tt luck is bad when ur relationship is ok =pp
but then...

sry la dear..dint meet u 2dae...
last min then noe u can meet me mah..
then i cannot ps them liaoz leh...
how 2 make it up 2 u? aha
juz name it lo =p
n dun eat 2 much durians leh
bad 4 ur throat
TSK
dun lose ur voice hor
u sae u still wanna tok 2 dear de =p

haiz 2mr maths test
needa go study lo ahaz
hope every1 does well 4 this test
wheeee` ciao guys

peace
miss you

2005-07-27T00:30:00.000+08:00

Who but you

Who but you could hold me
and keep the world at bay
Who but you could scold me
In the nicest kind of way
Who but you could take my hand
and step into a dream
Who but you could bring such joy
enough to make me scream
Who but you could lead the way
through fantasies, part by part
Who but you could make me love
and open up my heart
Who but you could bring to earth
each and every star
Who but you would tell me
'I love you just the way you are'
None, not a single one
could do the things you do
I could never love another
The way that I love you

:specially dedicated by mieEEe `karis

2005-07-25T19:07:00.000+08:00

=)))))

25/7
2am
wheeee~
tears
of happineess this time =)

dunno wad to sae
juz feelin happi now
i love u dear =)

slpt at 3+ yest
but 2dae still so energetic aha
had PE
wah damm enthu 2dae in soccer
1st time in pe so enthu aha
run til realli no breath aha
shiok

then later econs
waliew tay siew hock pick on me seh
n stupid shirley
dun hai wo leh!!
walauuuu keep accusin me seh tsk
but tay siew hock sae he TRUST ME!
muahaha...
but keep stressin tt i muz hand in file 2mr
nvm
i got 3 files for reference
oh i mean 4 =p

the gp woah siraj no come
2 daes mc
tc n rest more kies!!!
though he wun read it
though im happi i hav 3 n 1/2 hrs of free time
=)
do econs lo..
maths lecture plae wth zhirui lo muaha
maths tutorial slack ard lo...
after sch go lib do econs again
woah 2dae nver slp leh!
miracle!!!
im like damm pro lah =pp

but tt stupid shirley 2dae dunno wad
PMS AH
walauz
pick on me sehhhh
like i do anytin wrong liddat muaha
maths lesson is AFIQ laming about lo tskkk
n no1 is niaoin u in the 1st place leh muahaa
TSKKKKK
me alwaes scapegoat de
ke lian hor
ahahhaa
1 more time i ask u return me $$ le ah ahaha

wheeee
tink gtg le needa study
promos comin haiz
gim we set up a study dae okies?
all muz PROMOTE!!!!

lastly,
dear can u plz dun b so BHB
TSK
u got as cute n as adorable as ME meh?!
and
dun scare me wth such pics lehh tsk..
i v gulllible de lehh..
still can tell me u realli do tt somemore
tskkk..

kkk tink gtg le..
mug mug mug
ciao

peace
love ya

2005-07-24T20:16:00.000+08:00

if e owner of this blog still refuse to do any updates to this
blog..i shall do this~ -bleahx-
hehehehahahahahehehehe

2005-07-21T00:44:00.000+08:00

SERIOUS NOTIFICATION!

TO: Benjamin Teo

REGARDIN(S): this blog has been found to be disabled fer a quite period of time. can e owner of
this blog do something to it? e association might take up legal actions if no
changes is found within a week.hope u would kindly accede to our warning~

PS: this is juz a gentle reminder. dun be afraid of e association.. everi1 in e association is a damn
kind soul esp e ger by e name KARIS~ take care~

from e courtesy of e forever adorable Karis :P

2005-07-16T21:34:00.000+08:00

WHATSNEW

rhd was real fun 2dae aha
took charge of Canberra(err dunno spelling) Sec
the grp was like so cute lah muahaz...
esp xin ying n lydia sia muaha..
xin ying the typical small cute cute gal ahaz...
while lydia is nutz zzz
she took my hp
n go ard takin STRANGERS' photos
all gals one lah zzz..
got 1 gal walk past
she ask me chio not
i sae ok la
then she go immediately n took her photo liaoz zzz
n ask 4 her name somemore dangs..
then got 1 station master from ac one
after the game we went canteen mah
then she n xy were tellin me she is chio lah
then i was like yeah quite..
n she went all the wae upstairs to take her pic
DANGS
gungho
then she came down le
after a while went back again
to get her name n number
wah
she sure is siao one muaha
sometimes i wonder is she les muahaz...
but cannot anyhow plae plae seh
tt ac gal of bf one la dangs
cannot luan lai muaha
glad everyone had fun ahaz...
at least i did aha =)
now kelly can move aside
tt cute cute cheater bug xin ying can come in muahaha

went mahjong at zhi kang hse after rhd
me shirley zailaing zhi kang
won 56bucks in total
y so heng
does it mean tt sometin is gonna b compensated
like last time
at least this time i paid for shirley's 40 bucks lost
won 16 in the end then
hope it helps abit

whole dae not receivin ur sms
haiz
come to realise is coz i keep mentionin him
im sorry
i wun do that again
i dint noe...
dunno wad to sae
hope u feel betta soon
sorry
really

peace

doesnt askin the one u love goin to another man hurts
esp when u do it "happily"

2005-07-13T20:12:00.000+08:00

DEADBEAT

freakin tired now
slept at 230 yest
acc some1 online..
thruout the whole nite
then nver touch my work
headache sia
juz now tried 2 slp
but cant hav a gd one
keep wakin up
then in the end
forced to get out of bed
bathe hav dinner
smth wrong wth me sia zz
y sometimes will suddenly cold de
zzz
ivan said i look like drug addict 2dae muaha
i look so bad meh?
realli ahz?
keep slpin 2dae though
but not shiok de zzz
cant lie on the lecture tables
i too tall =p
then tutorial keep strugglin 2 keep my eyes open
woah tirin dae
rhd
borin
waste my time de aha
nvm sat is comin soon
gonna b over aha
things r not like b4
yet prolly mayb i m satisfied liddat
wad matters is tt ur happi
oh well
i shall juz "dream" bout my kelly then muaha
see see also shiok la aha
2mr phy test
pray can do betta this time
last time 12/40
utterly disappointed zzz thought can pass de
hope this time can do well...
tt of coz if i go study 2dae then got hope aha
then 2mr goin town ba
buyin stuff..
glad i have some cash 2 spare now aha...
but wheneva i realli spend money..
its alwaes on other ppl..
sometimes im tinkin..
am i actin like an idiot aha...
some ppl look le..tink so ba..
puzzle shoes bear...
but these r juz bdae presents..
4 ppl impt to me..
2mr..its juz a showing tt i care ba
karis ur such a zi lian kuang =p
*thanks to e forever wonderful n adorable karis for e updates of my blog~

peace

2005-07-13T00:46:00.000+08:00

muha..
since ben teo is sho0o0o lazy in updatin his blog..
i shall help him..
kind soul here sia..
hahazx..
lets relate e fun we had on sherline n yihan's bdae..
here it goes....

: bdae cake of e dae~~ taste great thou
dere's plenty of wax on it~ heex

: greatly present e owner of tis blog~
BEN TEO`` * applause* wif s_ho~

: it's mieeeEee [karRris] n moii
bloody white bezZ fren!~

: hapi bdae~ to both bdae gers~

: whitey ger huggin wei ge~
*goosebumps*

2005-07-13T00:39:00.000+08:00

tHis is karRriss invading`
-invaded-

2005-07-11T00:34:00.000+08:00

TRYINHARD

mahjong again
won 5 at 1st
but shirley lost 22..
so gave her my 5 bucks..
sry ah not enuff 2 bao ur loss..
the 17 bucks slowly return me la aha

then 2nd rd lost 7 bucks
had a feelin 2dae i would lose $$
indeed its true in the end..
oh well...
if only its gonna b like wad u sae gim
aha..
but its not so...yep

thanx 4 the taggies
appreciate it
but..yea..i will b fine

i need no sorries
i dun blame u
y u said tt mayb im rite
tt u r not gonna appear in front of me again
did i sae b4 tt i do not wanna c u?
guess not...
i duno y u said tt but...
haiz
r u gonna avoid me then
hope not
but if so..
ok then...
wad can i do
juz said hi to u on msn
then ur offline
either u had to go
or mayb ur connection got cut off
or mayb
u blocked me
to avoid me
dunno
im tryin my best not to miss u
but im hopin
tat ur not avoidin me
but even if u wan
its fine wth me...
its ok..i respect ur decision

juz realised i dint do anytin
over the weekends
slackin
plaein mahjong
m i realli addicted to it
mayb
or am i juz tryin 2 fa xie
i realli dun wish to touch books now man
dunno
realli no mood 4 such stuff
my 11 primetime for studyin
became my primetime for memories
dejavu
wun b surprised
if im gonna sit there from 11 til 1
juz stonin n tinkin of stuff
juz like b4
again

cut my hair 2dae
4got to ask him 2 layer
now abit short zz
mayb things will b betta wth shorter hair
more coolin
mayb mood will b betta
hope so
at least 1 thing i can promise
i wont make my friends worry yea
2mr in sch u will c me being fine one
so yep
dun wry bout me
i will alwaes b fine
nitez

peace

2005-07-10T00:58:00.000+08:00

LUCK

was on winning streak
wth mahjong
wed til fridae
won 60 in total
when i won on thur
i started thinkin
my luck must b due to smth
of coz i thought of tt

2dae lost
13 bucks
wow nice no. aha...
zhan asked me
whther i quarrelled wth her
i told him wad happened
n he said he long ago wanna ask me le
coz supposedly
when relationship goes wrong
u win in gambling
yea tt prolly adds weight to the saying

but why isnt there the saying
if u lose
theres gonna b improvement
in ur relationship
if so
i dun mind losing all my chips
wheneva i touch the mahjong set
but well
in fact theres no such saying

im a person hu recovers slow
from my past experiences..
its alwaes been liddat
but ive alwaes had np
being friends again
friendship is impt as well to me
time is all it takes

cant help missing her
suddenly thought of wad gim said
7/7/2005 is taiwan valatines dae
she said i go fake breakup wth her
then ask her 2 stead wth me on 7/8 again
well
it did happen
juz tt there is no "fake"
n the stead part..cant happen

time is needed
b4 she bcomes some1 i lov ed
juz realised my worst fear..
is true
but...nvm
i hope tt u will b successful
in waitin 4 him
gl to u as well
u will alwaes b my friend no doubt

glad tat things r goin well for u shiru
hope it continues...
n yea...cherish each other ba..
dun let me c u ='( again
=) more

now i guess...
juz b a monk..
dun tink too much...
plae pool n mahjong at times...
hang out wth friends at times..
study at times..
do hw at times..
slack at times..
care less at times(?)
n things will b fine

thanx 4 the ppl..
hu tried 2 cheer me up..
or console me..
or encourage me...
thanx...
but yea..
like wad i alwaes told some1
i will alwaes be fine de la
dun wry bout me
realli

peace

2005-07-07T20:13:00.000+08:00

SQUAREONE
./.7.7.2005./.

juz back from mahjong
won 20bucks
won 12bucks yest
happi?
dunno
mayb
helps my mood a lil

dunno y i keep bloggin now
mayb juz wanna...
relieve "stress"

been lucky recently in mahjong
at the price of..
i wonder

had such a bad dae in sch
hope 2mr is betta
dun wish to let my friends
c my "bastard" face again
but sometimes juz can help it
my face can b lazy at times
2 make any expressions
pardon me

slowly payin debts
sooon all shall b cleared i guess

7 daes
juz 7 daes

peace

2005-07-07T15:00:00.000+08:00

GONE
./.7.7.2005./.

gone
juz liddat
wad to sae
well
gl tc
hope things go smoothly 4 u

sch was..
crap 2dae..
no mood 4 anytin
wadeva

goin plae mahjong now
lose or win doesnt matter
mayb its betta tat i lose
like last time in blackjack liddat
losin $$ does makes u feel betta
somehow
dunno
heck la
wadeva

peace

2005-07-06T20:56:00.000+08:00

DEJAVU
./.6.7.2005./.

ponned cca
plaed mahjong
won 12 bucks
for the 1st time
nice but..o well..
if only im tt lucky
in other areas

daoed me
more than 24hrs le
dunno wads wrong
dunno wads happenin
dunno...wadeva

got back maths test
still alrite
but darn lot needless mistakes
2mr quiz..
hope to score ba

seems tt recently
things aint goin well
2dae econs test
haiz tink gonnna b my 2nd fail
didnt study yest
how 2 hav the mood

toked 2 some1 whom i care 4
haiz
hope things go smoothly 4 u ba

dun feel like tokin much le
so much unsaid
but...words dun convey everytin
dejavu
im reminded of the past
im reminded of the pain
wads comin ahead
i do not noe

i do not noe wad do i mean to ppl
tokin 2 much crap
wadeva
wonderin if i will manage 2 study maths 2dae
hope i do
if not
prepare 2 c ben teo failin this term

peace

2005-07-05T18:04:00.000+08:00

CRAP DAE
./.5.7.2005./.

tired now
juz feel like tokin
to my dearest blogspot
hu has alwaes been my chu qi tong
ur the nicest ahaz...

2dae got back phy test
12/40
wad else to sae
worst ever test done
disappointed
4 nt puttin the extra effort
diff paper it may be
failure though not it should b

totalli spoiled my mood
suddenly my mouth..
juz outta control
all the words came out like tapwater
even in phy lesson at the end...
y did i sae out so loudly
tat py n gerald r like 2 kids fightin
dangs ahaz..
y did i sae "siao!" so loudly
when gerald thought i was usin hp
dunno la
wad the heck

not nice...nope

y iszit tt sometimes i feel
ur friends r more impt
y iszit tt sometimes i feel
im juz a nobodi to u
y iszit tt sometimes
u dun even turn ur head
when im laggin behind
y iszit tt sometimes
i dun feel like im ur bf
y iszit tt sometimes
i dun feel tt u care
y iszit tt sometimes
i feel like an idiot
y iszit tt
there r still things
tt i cant even noe..now
y iszit tt
ur friends though can..
y iszit tt
im like alwaes the last 2 noe
y iszit tt
i still care so much 4 u
y iszit tt
ur alwaes on my mind
y iszit tt ur the one
i care most bout

mayb its juz because
i love u

peace

2005-06-29T19:46:00.000+08:00

HOMIE
./.29.6.2005./.

oooh back
after 1 month plus plus
missed me? muaha
alot ppl been askin me 2 blog
but i blog 4 myself k
not 4 u guys bleahzzz =p
1 also ask me 2 tell her when i blog
nah i wun
u got read then got lo
dun hav then nvm lo lala =p

hols gone
totalli slacked it
done only like parts a b and c of maths
ONLY
zzz zai
now tryin 2 catch up
muz thank shirley
4 the handwork lent 2 me muaha
xiexie ah aha

this week not bad
past darn fast
3 daes gone
tests..ok la...
mayb can pass all i hope muaha
2mr maths
last test of the week
every1 jia you!!
then can slack a lil le =p

2dae sian diao
genna chased out of class by keefe
1st time teacher chase me out sia ZZ
heh he count down 5 sec i sat down at the last sec leh
still chase me out
mayb at 1st buay song alreadi im eatin?
aha perhaps
nvm lo out then out lo
early dismissal sia
1230 go chi high collect cert wth karis
some1 v excited hor c soooooo many guys muahaha =p

later went macs study...
i became a tutor sia
teachin karis econs
muaha i felt so smart 2dae! =p
thanx 4 makin me feel so smart!
but its not 4 free hor =p

haiya sian leh
muz c keefee
2dae pretend i go cca
then after tt tink he not in sch so nver c him aha
2mr c him ba
dunno wads he gonna sae
lallaaa heck lahz
though such things siantifies me
basket
so suay
idiot spring rolls =p

jc life back le
luv it
its betta than hols =p
coz hols i slack
then i more streess seh?
now studyin lle
so not so stressed somehow muaha
juz make sure dun screw up tests can le aha
1 more term guys!
jiayou!!

wheee so many ppl bdaes comin....
broke le
how how
still owe jieying money sia
sry lehz owe so long
i try 2 return asap kkkk?? =p

n anw..."old friends"
i will nver 4get u guys lahzz
anytin look 4 me
still dunno how NICE i am meh!?! =p
unless if u feel we r distanced le then...
hmm nvm la aha..
but im alwaes there 4 all of u la
reallliz
i nver go back on my words =)
alot of u havin BT rite
ben teo = bt = block test
kk lame
mug hard kkk?
but dun stress out too aha
gl!!

hope things go fine 4 u
anytin can still loook 4 me de
anytin i can do juz let me noe
smile!!
stay happy la
jolin looks nicer when smiling =p
gl to u in everytin
im alwaes here

gotta go study le
lalala
ciao peeps

peace

2005-05-18T22:29:00.000+08:00

EXPECTED
./.18.5.2005./.

smth which i expec 2 happen
happened
well, it alwaes happens
seen it
1,2,3,4 times
oh 5
forgot 2 count this one
iszit hmmm human behaviour?
tt i once told siraj
tt its smth tt interests mE? aha

when uve juz lost/quarralled
wth ur bf
u feel lonely do u aha
n tt may make u look for "subsitudes"
aka, spare tires
oooh subsitudes..learn in econs...
then once the demand for it drops
pooof! n its gone...
oooh demand...econs
how often do loneliness
or juz the unwillingless to adapt
to a change in circumstances or situations
lead to one's misery
or the other party's misery
or both
well well..guess i muz get used to it

our class seems to hav alot of
"politics" as well aha
dunno la
recently seems to hav alot of
"goin ons"
its freaky sometimes aha
hope tt every1 takes care
of their health
not another poor faith plz
term endin soon
1 more week liddat
hang on peeps
1 more maths test n phy test
jiayou!!!
givin up is the last thing
i wanna c from u guys k?
no matter how tough
or how hard
juz hang on can peeps?
ppl ard u r there 2 help u k??
n we've got a bunch of
great teachers tooo!
not to 4get
ur bestest bestest
ultimate zai kia
welfare head!!!
its v simple la
need help
ask for help
=)

i wonder wad m i doin 2dae
slack alot
plaed cm5 while doin gpp til now
where im typin this..
when i should b studyin maths.
i will
later
11pm
but then
wad bout my econs
not gonna do i guess
cham
2dae so slack
guess it alwaes happens
when the end of term approaches
oh well
wadeva aha

recently my throat got infected
toked less
hence as usual opened my "3rd eye"
wheee~ saw alot of things
mayb "older" friends will understan aha
not ghosts la hor aha...
oh well...
like ive said..its interesting...
bcareful
ben teo is gonna see u thru inside out
muahaha
cept vincent lah
whom i see til cannot see anytin liaoz ahaha
ooppps

tink im gona do nyaa silver la
cham
ahaa
thanx to gerald boh la
hu is in charge of table tennis aha
but he like v enthu 2 help us la
sui bian lo then aha
oh well he seems nice afterall 2 us
cept tt...dyed but not highlighted..
WHITE hair..
u take care pal
dun tink 2 much liaoz
omg wad am i saein zzzz

ok prof teo slpin le aha
no more chim stuff in msn ahha
tc peeps
realliz

(oh sry gim i dint pms here ahaha. note: "here". =p )

peace

2005-05-06T22:06:00.000+08:00

ONCE MORE
./.6.5.2005./.

sry 4 the previous entry
im realli in a v bad mood bah i guess
but nah i 4get things quite easily de la
wun ji chou de...
wun b angry 4 long one la..
so relac ba ivan aha
i 4got bout it de next dae le...
n dun sae unity suck leh aha
coz frankly speakin
u all noe i dun like tchs rite?
aha..but dun sae the sch sux la =p

thanx connie also la aha
not bad,
didnt noe u got come read de aha
hows life
hope ur gettin along fine
n still n happi n siao on as eva aha =p

test results came back le..
maths n phy...
phy quite a few dint get reali gd results ba
hey peeps jia you n dun giv up k?
can c tt some of u stressed la...
shirley n ivan blogs showed tt too aha..
its gd 2 b anxious bout our results...
but relac la juz work harder it will b fine k?
anytin can come askk me la ya?
if i noe i teach u all la aha
if dunno then...
find the muggers or wad la aha
dun b disheartened n work harder k!

die la comin tests i v jialat
coz all testin on chapts tt i slept during lectures muaha
need buck up liaoz ahaha
less com
HAIZ
start muggin peeps!!!
wahaha cant belive its comin out from my mouth

juz realised
tt hist, is realli repeatin itself again
come 2 noe tt everytin is juz...
repeatin
now again
why
wad, im fated to b liddat ah
dunno la
nvm
mayb its gd
coz since i can c the picture now
i get to c mayb wads gonna happen later
n in the end
i will juz treat it as another page of a story book ba
if u dun understan wad im tokin about
nvm la aha
ur not supposed to anw =p

peace

2005-05-03T20:28:00.000+08:00

STFU
./.3.5.2005./.

almost been a month since ive blogged
dunno whter still got ppl readin ahaz
but nvm lahz
gd 2 relieve some stress here ahaz

been bz recently bahz
muggin for tests n stuff lo..sianz
ive realised i slpt for all the lectures
for the past 2 weeks
regardless of wad subs
piangs
needa go self study like nuts liaoz
if not next yr i go j1 orientation sia zzz

if any s12 ppl r readin this
juz wanna let u all noe
plz plz plz 4get tt im from chi high or wad shit ok
its gettin on my nerves lah

last week phy lab
i was like teachin some1 i tink
then i tink he said "wah smart la"
of coz tt kind jokin jokin like wad we do alwaes
then another person went " of coz la chi high wad
but in the end leh, still come pj wad "
knn
i chose to come pj lahz
i cant go hc i noe
but even if i get 6 which i didnt i will come pj
its my choice dammit
i chose pj, not pj chose me
11 pts cannot go hc, but can go others like ac sa or wad shit
but i chose 2 come pj can
tts wad i told him
n boy am i pissed

now 2dae
phy lab again
knn
was like tellin a person how 2 do a q liddat
then tat person again said "chi high leh smart la"
then the person whom i was telllin him how 2 do said
" wah chi high 1 so wad still come pj 4 wad.
smart among the stupid ppl only.
then stupid among the smart ppl"
then i went " wah u saein u urself u all stupid ah"
n he goes ya lah
knn.
i dun understan y u wan sae urself stupid sia
its realli wad lahz
knn n did i ever tink tt im smart
chi high chi high
tt pt of time i realli wanna sae
oi unity cb monkshill cb ni men gou le mah
i dint la of coz
juz diam thruout the rest of the lesson
chi high big deal ahz
hav i EVER comment bout the schs tt u all r in ah
NVER
i respect all the schs n am curious 2 noe wad all ur schs r like
hav i ever hao lian bout chi high or wad shit!?
NVER rite?
cb la n does any1 nottice wheneva theres any intro or wad
like in 1st lessons or orientation or wad
i alwaes try not 2 sae my sch de unless realli need
why?
coz i dun wan 2 b looked as a guy from chi high
i dunnno wads wrong la
realliz noe
pissed me off like fuck
u all r my gd friends
i control my temper
1 more time i dunno whther i can do the same
i hope i can
try me

this entry sux
its not me to f n cb here n there
but sry lah
cant b bothered 2 edit now
dun even noe whther i wrote properly wad i wanna sae
but heck
sometimes ppl make me wonder whether im their gd buddy
sometimes ppl make me wonder whther they r pissed wth me
if not i can read ppl's mind huh
lame

luckily after sch things get betta after i go lot 1
mood bcame betta abit
hope 2mr will b fine
wadeva

im juz a PJ J1 student

peace

2005-04-11T18:44:00.000+08:00

AHHHH STUDY STUDY!
./.11.4.2005./.

1 entry per week bcome 1 entry per fornight liaoz
aha
dunno lazy lahz

work has started sia
slow but..ya started...finally..
compared to other jcs we r REALLi
SLOW
but yeah im sure we can catch up =)

05S12 been a great bunch man
aha n all the SEI GUYS in our class k!
muahaha
all the shuai ge attitudes jokers n BENG r all in our class =p
lalala
aint the gals in our class fortunate muaha
k lah im crappin alot

so far maths still ok..
econs im catchin up liaoz..
left wth phy which im still quite cmi lah aha
kk will try 2 pia aha
realised our class all super hardworkin de
gd sign aha

but then hor...muz rmb 2 chill sia aha
at times after sch plae pool kies?
sat go out kies?
aha sry lah im used to goin out on SAT de..
cant not go out on sat lahz...
dun go out, my dad will ask me y i nver go out zzz
then willl ask me go out sia aha

last sat went out wth jk jy n his L1B5 gang ahaha
plaed street soccer...
sia la blister again..
oh ya thanx 4 the super belated bdae gift kies aha
thanx jk jy wei en kian...
belated but yeah thanx alot still ahaz
got time we go out 2gther can?
v long no go out liaoz sia...
noe u guys bz lah but...yeah...

2dae alot ppl nver come sch 2dae
ppl take care of ur health plz
beng is sick faith also i guess felicia coughin 4 the past few daes too...
tc tc ....

i feel that our class is in ssafe hands aha
maths teacher definitely zai lah aha
tan boon keong wad else to sae ahaha
GP teacher best sia
i luv teachers hu r confident n can make promises aha
phy got our dedicated gerald ng
treat us like sec students ahaha
tts y we r safe =p
econs...still need 2 noe him betta
so far not bad lah
coz at least his lessons interestin sia
betta than last time i wan slp de aha
tt lao ah pek v farni at times also ahaha
yay i like our teachers ahaha

things r goin quite fine now ba i guess..
ive learnt to take things ez...
sometimes juz heck care n dun wry 2 much is a gd idea aha...
chun gim a bit like me de..moody easily...
but she more hiong than me sia aha
CJ if u readin this muz learn 2 CHILL ooook aha....
cannot alwaes erupt hor =p
scary sia...
anytin can juz let us noe lah yeah..

kk mayb i later gonna add on some links liaoz aha
i how many months no touch my template sia aha..

y am i alwaes being reminded of memories...
that can nver seem to fade
so much...that i miss
so much...that i lost
but wads gone is gone
may the best memories hold
n the rest goes

ive learnt to make myself happi in sch now
quite
its gonna distract myself
it works
quite
but wad happens at hm...
music which i listen...
nver fails 2 bring back memories
coz each song reminds of me a period of time
still rmbed how jie kou alwaes remind me of some1...
n brings tears 2 my eyes...
how tt westlife song bring me to p6...
how limp biskit reminds of sec1 when i miss her dearly
songs...
can b stopped
yet the bear still lyin in my rm
how will i ever 4get u
when the bear is alwaes there
its urs, rmb
but its here, wth me

aha i sound stupid lahz
its lame
y hang on 2 unhappiness
y hang on 2 smth tts gonna make u sad
nvm time lo aha
its improvin now..
will b gd soon ahaz..

sheesh mom naggin like nuts liaoz aha
gonna read my ST liaoz
2 help my GP ahahaz
sry lah i v slow hor
J1 then start readin newspaper aha..
betta than nth ritez ahhaa

k liaoz gtg le aha
ciao

peace

2005-03-31T21:39:00.000+08:00

ITS TIME
./.31.3.2005./.

k 2dae is a betta dae
like i said i gonna b happpii
yeah tink it was quite successful aha

2dae lectures lectures...
k lah nver slp...paying attention
only project work lah aha
1st lesson
then tired like nuts la
so zzzzzz loh

sia la i c alot of my classmates so hardworkin
pressurize sia aha
even spencer the one who is like
slackin so much in 1st 3 months
serious business liaoz sia aha
then i c zhen hui lahz..
n the rest la...
all enthu enthu...
then lectures i c no1 dozing off
even PW hor...
the cck ppl also concentrate like siao sia
ZAI

then now tokin 2 connnie online
one of our ctl
sia la
she is one real optimistic person
n darn happi happi alwaes

envy sia aha
read her blog also
woah 4eva happi happi sia
gd 4 her aha
hope i will b liddat tooo aha

05s12 is great aha
every1 clickin v well ba aha
guys yeah clicked le..
gals...tink only left a handful aha
nvm
we got lots of time =)

ah keefve loke our ct
tt bian tai
nvm
at least got fun pe aha

its not right
but i do miss u

peace

2005-03-30T20:36:00.000+08:00

SO COOL
./.30.3.2005./.

past few weeks
wae 2 bad
tat bastard mr kwek
angry wth him like shit
wadeva
not gonna sae much
gonna hate him for 2 yrs in pj
i luv pj
cept this fag

2 many unhappiness goin on
everydae smth muz gek me
smth muz make me feel so down
but why
i duno
wadeva

tryin 2 use the sole solution given 2 me
heck care
from 2mr onwards..
i'll try 2 b happi happi happi
study study study
dunno la
crap sia
hope 2mr onwards i will b realli cheerful again
where's the happiness i experienced in 1st 3 months
dunno
things do change afterall
aha nvm

peace

2005-03-21T21:15:00.000+08:00

WHY
./.21.3.2005./.

i tink i lost a friend
a close one
why
i dunno
but i tink it doesnt matter anymore
mayb i should get used to it
of losing friends tt r special,
or close 2 me

ever since tt dae i saw her
i hear nth from her
2dae i was still hoping
mayb
juz mayb
a sms might juz come
n its from her
21/3/2005
24hrs
nth
its 21:23 when i write this very sentence
2hrs 37min to go
doubt any changes gonna happen
nvm

im feelin bad the whole dae
waitin 4 juz a sms
or juz any contact
but in sch my friends my class
they made me feel betta
im glad, grateful
thanx 2 all the ppl hu wished me happi bdae
realliz
wanyi if ur readin this
im realliz shocked tt u knew..
tt u rmbed
thanx
same goes to jeremy...
n the others..
of coz not to 4get my tchs buddies..
jk jy weien kian keng...
thanx alot too...
thanx 4 the presents too from every1..
u ppl made me feel betta...

went kbox after sch wth des felicia shirley yihan nick joe LJ
was goin fine..
til a pt when desmond was moody n stuff...
felicia tried to cheer him up...
i can c she's realliz tryin, v hard
but its not realliz workin
n i feel sad 4 her also...
n 4 des also...hu is feelin so moody
its pains me 2 c ppl moody
v much
later on
after kbox
des starts 2 hav tears
felicia then too...
i realli felt like i got stabbed
i cant c ppl cry..
juz cant...
but when i ask n stuff...
silence..
how would i feel
im tt sort of person
when seein ppl sad or not gd
n i noe nth at all
i will feel utterly bad like nuts
n i cant see a gal cry
1 person may noe

i was alreadi feelin like f*** (sry) the whole dae
n now liddat
the whole dae i was tryin 2 contain my tears
i did successfully
i will not let ppl c me cry
try
i did not
n im glad
but 2dae how i wish
i could juz cry n wail like a crybaby
cry my hearts out
but i didnt
but i wouldnt

now these things happen..
n i noe nth..
i dunno wad to do
but juz hide my tears

went to cck park wth des felicia shirley
stoned there i guess
des even apologised later for wastin our time
which is not true
i enjoyed there
the quietness
the sound of the crickets
but as seconds n minutes go by
my heart pains more

its my bdae 2dae
n it sure isnt a v nice dae...
but wad to do
im tired
realliz tired
a bread n 2 eggs 2 last the whole dae
i hav no strength
i dunno
i dunno wad wrong
its juz painful
realliz painful
my heart..

on a happier note
thanx thanx thanx to felicia des yihan shirley rod weijing chungim ying
on thurs went 2 shirley hse
2 watch vcd
n suddenly at nite shirley felicia yihan brought in a cake into the room
i was shocked realliz shocked
felicia sang a bdae song 2..
later received presents from them as well...

in my memory...
i dun rmb any1 singin a bdae song 2 me b4...
my family has no tradation of bdae cakes n songs..
juz plain family dinner...n present..
ya...it realli touched me
thannx

1 can hav many friends
but how many r true
1 can hav many true friends
but how many r close
1 can hav many close n true friends
but how many will last

1 by 1 they go
1 by 1 they make me tink
why do ppl forget memories so fast
wad the heck
mayb the bottom line is juz
i juz get used to it ba

peace

2005-03-08T21:24:00.000+08:00

CHILLING NIGHT
./.8.3.2005./.

sick 2dae
not nice
didnt go sch
parents wanted me 2 c doc
i didnt
2 save money
hope i it will b betta soon

4pm went down to pj
"studied" wth yihan felicia shirley
nth seems 2 get into my head
headache somemore
not nice
slacked ard
helper felicia wth some maths
b4 we went to lot1
where i need buy smth

bought my stuff le
went 2 wait for friend
1 n a half hrs
nth bout the duration
juz hoped tt a sms or call would come
juz 2 let me noe..
nvm
n the winds r chilling
im cold
n a cat sneaked up on me
she went under the table n licked me suddenly
shocked man
wassup wth the animals 2dae

this morn an injured bird flew into my hse toilet
gave my bro a shock 2
n we "captured" it n place it downstairs
hope it survives
it cant fly much

nth great bout 2dae i guess
cept for mayb my parents r out
hence spare me the scoldings as i juz reached home

im tired
of everytin
gettin lost now
bye

peace

2005-03-06T20:52:00.000+08:00

HORROR
./.6.3.2005./.

woah 2 weeks no blog
record sia i tink aha
oh well bz man bz man =p

results out le..ok 1 week liaoz
some gd some bad...
oh well..we still hav to go on wth life =)
yeah man gl to every1..
whether goin poly or jc yeah?

me stayin in pj bahz...
juz like wad ive said b4 =p
hope 2 stay in same class though...
wads worryin is the sub combi sia..
dunno..hope we can all b in the same combi yeah?

for the past 1 week pj j1 students so sch sia
wad we do?
SPAM vcds ahaha
me des yihan felicia shirley all hiong vcds aha
all horror de like errr
bi xian, dollmaster, face, shutter, juon1, juon2
juon prequel still wth me, havent watched yet though aha
soon yeah guys?
ohoh , we also bought BIG FISH aha
but they dunno how 2 appreciate =p
like DESMOND aha
sae wad v sianz
then watch halfwae we do other stuff liaoz aha

plaed quite alot of blackjack too
thanx 2 des again aha
coz he kept losin
but he alwaes sae...
"money go money come"
yeah so he keep losin lo ahaha
but now tink he scared liaoz
dun dare plae le aha
die la cannot earn some monney for my march allowance liaoz
left wth errr 5 bucks?!?!!
DIE

yest went HC talentnite.
not bad..cept a lil AV probs here n there...
and the entrance fee of
EIGHT dollars.
walau
no $$$ sia...

ok la this week quite fun but then..
its like..dunno lahz
sometimes ppl make me wonder
whther they mean wad they sae
coz,
they can sae smth 2 u this moment
2 months later i tink back
r they sure wad r they saein tt time?
mayb some ppl r juz...
shuo shuo er yi ba
n its saddening
when supposedly they r close to u
or ur gd friend
nvm
when im nth 2 u
ur nth 2 me
u can easily gain my trust
u will not easily lose it
but there will still b a pt
where u might
nvm
sometimes i should learn 2 heck care bout things
oh well tt sounds familiar..
wadeva

kk
2mr sch again
im not gonna pon sch or lectures or tutorials again sia
nonono cannot
A levs muz do well liaoz
no mor uber slacky ben teo =p
ok shall try aha
hope 05S13 stays
realliz

tc peeps

peace

2005-02-20T00:03:00.000+08:00

POLY, JC
./.20.2.2005./.

yes, this is ben teo bloggin hehe
v long no blog liaoz i noe
paiseh lah
v BUSY ahaha
n v SLACK also =p

smth made me blog
aha results comin out soon liaoz
then the thing is tt....whther 05S13 is stayin...
im tinkin
in jcs like HC n RJ those top schs
its most prolly tt their classes will stay
i mean, if u can stay, hu will not ritez..
but then...i c a class which is most prolly gonna disband
haiz

some ppl wanna go poly
some ppl wanna change jc
some ppl wanna change sub combi
how how how aha
but all sae they hope tt we will stay 2gther
haiz....

but ok lah the bottom line is hor...
ppl...if u all can stay in jc rite...includin me lahz...
stay in jc can?
im not sayin stay in pj now...im sayin if can dun go poly la k aha...
im not sayin poly not gd...
juz tt if can ritez....jc will make a betta choice lah...realli...

then 2ndly..if stayin in jc...try 2 stay in pj la can aha
realliz lahz...u all dun like the class meh aha
every1 sae they wan stay...
i wan 2 c u all again also de leh...
i like 05s13
realliz
dun u guys? aha

sub combi nvm i can take 4 sub wth chem if i can 2 pei u all
np
but...if u all wan drop phy
then errr i abit bo bian lah aha...
c how ba....

aiya duno lahz
we can tok more aha
toked 2 felica alot coz she v worried bout her maths
but then relac la
got so many ppl can help aha scared wad.....

but i realised ah my classs super lot of hardworkin ppl aha
tink i need buck up man aha
i c them so hardworkin then so worried 4 their results
n i feel guilty
y m i so slack

decided 2 realli pia after the 3 months
no more ponnin of lessons
n tutorials aha
no more Macs in the mornin aha
no more late comin
heh pris if we r late 1 more time needa sit there for ONE HR hor ahaha
i dun wan sia...
stupid jieying tsk

actualli got alot 2 write
v dae la aha outings la aha
but lazy la
then so long ago
hu ask me so slack the other time aha

nvm
this is more impt aha
ohoh !!!
n yest bbq was v fUN ahahhaa
most fun is the YAM SENG wth the exploding cokes sia aha
but then muz clean up the mess aha
nvm
fun can le =)
then we took alot of photos
all ACT CUTE ONE ahahaha
walau
spoil my image sia ahaha
nvm
i willing 2 sacrifice de ahaha bleahz
hope 2 hav more such outings aha
OCEANNNNN!!!!
aiya got me here
u all stay wanna leave pj meh>!! =p

wah the bbq
walau
suay
go buy the ice cubes then rain like nuts
then drenched like nuts also lo
carry the stupid big box 2 sch in the rain aahhaha
then hp drenched
then spoil
nvm
can buy new one ahahah
n thanx alot hor yihan realli realliz
sia dao tt u brought the hp lehz ahaz....
duno how u noe lah but then ahah xie xie realliz....
u will b as nice as me some dae muahaha
okok jk bleahz

kk gtg liaoz
2mr dunno how leh
still blur blur aha
wadeva
dun care
lala

ciao peeps

peace

2005-02-04T21:42:00.000+08:00

ALSO CAN, CAN ALSO
./.4.2.2005./.

ah finally get my lazy fingers 2 blog again
thanx peeps but i shuld b fine le anw aha =)

ok 2dae...err i tink fridae is officially a "sports dae" for me ahaha
PE we got one n a half hr of volleyball..
n my arm is still painfull aha zz
though keefe loke (how spell!?!) alwaes praise me lehh!!
muahaha sry la bhb
he sae my err err wads the thing u hit the ball high ah
not set but...ok nvm
he praised me!
ahaha sry im retarded

then CT lesson..which is by keefe also
we plaed err games lo..again aha
then i went 2 plae tennis...4 the 1st time ahaha
cool not bad quite fun
though not used 2 the bounce
2 used 2 ping pong ball ahaha
but walau more strain on my arm aha coz i used 2 much of my wrist
tmd no more tennis
lee su he (ex tt coach ahaha) said b4
we cannot plae tennis!!!

then later got cca...table tennis..
plaed for 2 hrs...wth the seniors..
wah trainin so fast
not fun aha
but nvm hope it will b betta when the coach comes aha

then went hm...
wah then bro ask me go joggin wth him ahah
tink im nuts
i said ok ahaha
then went runnninnn

then come back liaoz he sae later plae pool!!!
wahaha ok i declined
tink i wan slack liaoz
2mr ba perhaps aha

ouch my hand hurts
tmd aha

wah junjie n vincent is gonna set up a cybergames club woot aha
heard tt its quite high-chance tt it will b successful
if realli so i join 2 cca lo aha
hey the trainin v vigorous de k ahaha accordin 2 them
more than canoe leh!
5 times a week!
at least 4 hrs!!
waha i doubt lah though
sia i dun wan retain also leh aha

oh n i went kbox twice in 3 daes aha
1st wth the class...
then wth jieying jiamin wanping amelia ash and err is tt real cheena piak called liying ah?
sry 4got aha
ok v fun goin kbox
though $$$ fly awae aha
feel like goin again though ahaha oops
or pool...also can aha

oh anw did i mention tt desmond is gd at tennis ahaha
yeah he's gd man aha
n oh, i noe hu admires both des n rod!!!
ahaha lalala...
from jieying n pris class de..

oh yaaa i tink my handwrittin v nice!!
ahaha zz ok i tink im retarded again
but then hor..
not bad leh..in my 16++ yrs of lifetime
got a ffew ppl sae my handwrittin v nice leh!!
some sae it looks like gals' also,
but its a compliment rite!!
aahahaa
im nuts sry
but then its true tt mine is actually nicer than some gals leh!
like err yihan?!?!
muahaha sry sry =p
nvm, u shuld c my handwrittin when i write essays
its HORRIBLE ahaha
still rmb the teachers spammin complains bout my handwrittin
in the prelim scripts aha

yawnz
im tired aha
duno wad time i slpin soon
nowadaes slpin at 12am
v early rite!
then wake up at 7am lalalla
late rite!
sry ah
5min walk from sch
i shall abuse it
n make ppl ard me jealous lalala
k le i gtg le
tc peeps
ciao

peace

2005-01-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

WADEVA
./.29.1.2005./.

yest was wei en bdae aha
happi bdae again!!!
sry ah keng...4got bout urs tt dae leh =(
happi belated bdae okie? =p

sigh
2 fucked up daes
sry lah dunno how 2 express myself
mayb fucked up is the best wae
but wad to do
y iszit alwaes liddat

its like a graph...or a roller coaster...aha lame hu cares
happiness doesnt usually last long 4 me isnt it
dunno
sometimes i realli hope tt i wun b showin my dao face
sometimes i hope i am crappin or luffin like im a lunatic
yet sometimes...cant lah
sometimes when im realli dao
i hope 2 mayb tok a lil 2 some1
but cant, my mouth is juz 2 lazy
it juz dun wan 2 open
mayb like wad pris saes its a golden mouth

wadeva
i dunno
its juz like a cycle...again
everytime seems mayb gd again..
n there it goes..all came fallin down...
happens 2 everytin
dunno y

wadeva
mayb a slp will help
not a gd dae 2dae
howeva realli muz thank my class aha
went 2 pool fac wth ivan desmond chun jing shirley yi han
had a black face when i reach there
but desmond realli made me feel betta aha
coz he realli damm farni
thanx man peeps aha

k le i go le
hope slp will work wonders
tink i gettin green form on mon
coz i pon gp tutorial on fri zz
die, c how
ciao peeps

peace

2005-01-25T21:35:00.000+08:00

CUTE
./.25.1.2005./.

kk yihan complainin i nver blog liaoz
soo being suchhhhh a nice guy im gonna blog ahaha
sry sry i noe i v bhb =p

okok these daes not bad lah
lessons as usual
though 2dae i major pon liddat aha
pon 2hrs of lecture straight
n its b/w our break n our lunch
hence
i got 3 hrs of slackin time =)
okok sry this is not a gd thing 2 do
dun pon lesssons!!!
esp maths n phy!!!

oh cannnot 4get 2 mention
our class outin was sundae was greaT! ahaha
though err....
the sentosa thingey i nver go lah aha
coz i err....gotta work??? ahaha erpsss..yeah
"work"
but heard tt its super sianz lah so...hmm ya..
then later i joined them 4 dinner at marina bay lo..
played a game of pool 1st
wheeee i luv pool!
ahh i wan plae pooool
then we went "longchun" 2 eat steamboat lo..
piangs luff til buay tahan
thanks 2 the mighty wearin shorts gay rv guy joe
dangs
nth 2 sae
GAY
oops sry
but tink he wun come here de so...nvm lo ahhaa
can u luff like more properly!!! ahaha
every1 cant stand it man
not even brother gay zzz

yawnz yawnz so tired dunno wad i gonna write
oh yaaaa
woah so sianz
2dae i was late!?!
thanx 2 some shorty...zzz
i woke up at 6 lo coz i needa pass the YUPI miniburgers 2 my friend
zzz
they wanna put it in their eerr sweets locker eh
so i wake up earlier 2 go bus stop
piangs
pris tan!!! u so short laaa bus driver canot c u then dun let u board tskkk
then i zhen hui pris all late lo
they so high tech
got scan the card de aha
then the teacher still ask me cut my hair, err the back part
so sianz so many ppl also longer than mine lo...
ask me cut myself no need barber
how i noe how 2 cut!!!
sigh
but dun care la
not 2dae
2 tired aha
2mr dun late can le =p
dun b late 2mr hor u alll!!!

oh n jieying hope u get well sooon aha
u do back dye hair again liaoz then sick ah?
tsk tsk tc sia
tink pris misses u alot ahahaha
she like v lonely now leh
nvm got me!
ahaha j/k
i alwaes like 2 ACT bhb =p

isnt it a gd thing tt i live so near pj =)
wheneva i needa wait 4 ppl or got some free time
i can juz go hm
lalalla
heh dun b jealous guys lallala

ohhhh HCI thur aud for talantime rite!!!
heh jk n co u all muz jiayou hor
i noe time is short but muz pia ok!!
jy alwaes haolian his vocals improve
muz get in hor at least tskktsk
heh can i crash on tt dae n c u all sing ah aha
let me noe okie?

some1 bdae comin soooooooon =p
the month of feb is so not gd
in a wae aha
make my wallet explodeeee
dunno la c how aha

k ba...
i gtg le...
oh ya i borrowed vcd 4got 2 watch!
kk i need watch n go do phy tutorial so sianzzz
nvm 2mr 1230 end sch lalallaa

cya guys

peace

2005-01-13T22:16:00.000+08:00

AGAIN
./.13.1.2005./.

yest was prolly 1 of the worst daes of my life
dunnoz
feelin betta now
aye...
everytin juz happens again...
sometimes i juz feel like a fool...
but wad 2 do...
blame it on the fact tt im weak?

life is pj great! yay! ahaha
as in at least things r goin the wae i wanted lahz..
wierd not 2 c any ah bengs n lians yet lehz...
xpec 2 c some de...
where u alll ah? appear leh aha
y every1 seems so nice liddat ahhaa

woah the wolverine in my class famous sia...
3 gals whom i noe "like" him leh ahahaha
wonder whether i shuld tell him notz ahaha
all thanx 2 his famous NATURAL bao za tou!!
wth his only front dyed aha

roddrick also gettin the praises from my friends man
saein he so tanned n shuai ahaha
my class guys all shuai ge!! =p

oooh n our sch colleen also v popular liddat aha
she j2 de..
v chio...
then my class haikal n rod they all also sae she chio sia ahaha..
lalala...
council de..
nvm can c her more after 3 months ahaha
provided i get into council of coz erps....
all thanx 2 table tennis being non competitive sianzzzzzzzzz

the class had been great...
though sometimes we dun sit 2gther during breaks leh?!
walau gals come join the guys lah ahahha
nvm
i tink...
this sat we goin out or smth iszit?
not bad is gals organise de
diao..
hope most can make it aha
includin our ogls!
brother gay sister lah n YJ u all r invited sia...
i tink...rite water well?

these daes im like so tired when i reach hm
y ahz?
lectures r slack
while i wake up later now...
at 630 am? erpss...
then sch ends earlier now..
more breaks now....
mayb i 2 happi n enthu in sch le ahaha
tt makes me tired
cannot blame me lah im supposed 2 b dao muahaha
so if i enthu it makes me tired lallala

2mr or i shuld i sae later...
lessons r err..slack..
go sch after flag raisin slack for 1half hrs b4 gp..
then slack 1 hr b4 CT which is held in canteen wooot
will try 2 do work during the breaks aha
hope 2 do it

now is 14th of jan
heck lah i take it as 13jan
coz i saved the draft on 13jan
im crappin again aha

2dae finally started some work
drank coffee mahz
got energy...
doin maths lo
mostly revision ba...
realised tt the lecturer quite..err not so gd...
she not careful de lohz zzz...

seems tt everytin seems betta 4 every1
gd
hope it stays this wae...
hope i will b reali happi soon ahaz
yeah hope...
though i tink muz wait long long zzz

k le no more crap from uncle ben zzz
back 2 my ying yue ri ji n my maths le...

nitez peeps

peace

if only things r juz as simple as wad i hope 2 be

2005-01-11T18:04:00.000+08:00

STAGNENT
./.11.1.2005./.

had a talk at kap
wth kian n co
doesnt realliz affect me alot ba
juz hope things get betta 4 all of u

im tired
so tired
everydae after sch when i reach hm
why?
dunnoz...
im realli mentally tired
de ja vu again?
i dunnoz
it seems as if its back tt the past...
dunnoz...

lectures these daes r realli sianz..
2 much cok 2 tok...
only maths tutorial got 2 somewhere
but 1st term work mostly a maths stuff ba...

however tt lecturer like goin so fast...
i wonder how those ppl w/o amaths backgrd can understan man..
need help let me noe ya...
i not super zai lah but can at least help a lil ba..

woah 2dae i like ponned 2 lessons?
phy n gp...
phy is coz of hikal(err 4got spellin again) n rodrick co lahz..
walau 1 during lesson time then buy food 1 last min buy notes..
so v late le decide not 2 go n went lib...
was wth jieying n her potato friend ahaha
tok alot of cok la basically
n her friend kept callin me cheena piak
zzzz u 2 angmo piak manz...

then gp ponned is coz of yuehua hu crashed zzz
came 4 our econs lecture which is soooo sianz again n useless
n then we ponned gp lesson...which i heard was fei as usual

then go makan...then giv her sch tour erps...
then sat down while the gals oogle at the guys ahah
me notin much 2 oogle lah sianz aha

then finally parted n went hm

im like so slack in bloggin now
sry lah v tired ahaha

yay bought the badge the polo tee the PE shirt n pants
left wth uniform n PANTS man aha

oh did i mention tt i deleted my tft?
ahaha im not gamer le!!!

2mr PE sia
woah 1st dae pe alreadi 2.4 liaoz...
so sianz..
but 2mr i lesson super uber slack
1 pe 1 econs lecture
no more le yay....
but 1230 then can leave sch
mayb try 2 sneak ahaha

k le i siamz le so tired
hope u guys hav fun in ur schs!

buaiz...

peace

2005-01-08T16:55:00.000+08:00

COLD
./.8.1.2005./.

by rite i shuld b bloggin bout my orientation..
which is totally splendid n fun
i enjoyed it, realli.
but it seems there r other issues.
oh well, lets talk a lil bout it ahaz.

hmmm 1st 2daes we r in our og grps....
didnt realliz enjoy as much then coz my grp is quite err passive..
they r not enthu hence i also sianz lahz...n i v quiet lohz...

then on wed splitted into our CT grps n woot its a diff case man
every1 was realli on, err ok mayb not the gals, only ying was siao on aha
MASON!!!! quack quack quack oi oi oi pok pok pok
our class v united n enthu i muz sae n i enjoyed myself. OCEAN we rock!

not 2 4get our dear ogls man.
ppl like brother gayyyyy sister la...n YJ..
if not 4 u guys mayb i would b sianz sianz again lohz aha
brother gay if ur readin this u muz learn 2 chill at times okie?
c u agitated so many times...
though i understan y u r liddat but sometimes juz chill la hor ahaz
pui more la its betta 4 ur health aha

not goin into details le if not gonna write essay again aha
but anw thanx gary isebella(spelliing sry ah) n yong ju!
u guys were the most diao man
hope 2 cya guys again soon ok? =)

now now now...sianz..
yaya kian im replyin 2 u ok..
1stly speakin...some things 2 clear 1st..like..err

"and then ppl haf to blame me for everythin. Thinkin that I drag shiru off to haf some private time tgth? That is so wrong."

ok i dunno whther im in it also la as in tinkin tt im blamin u also
if u dint put me inside the "ppl" then ok la gd gd
if im in rite, juz 2 let u noe, im NOT pissed, im NOT in the least angry wth u 2 alrite?
let me think
actually
ive nver been pissed at anytin, tt has 2 do wth u 2 2gther one.
juz 2 let u noe i was like explainin 2 them tat shiru has 2 go hm early when they were like askin y the host left us alone there.
in case u tink i was angry.

"I vaguely recall benteo askin me to shaddup and go off in an extremely hostile manner, even b4 i cld say anythin.. (there is absolutely no doubt abt this incident)"

u vaguely recalled but there is ABSOLUTELY no doubt bout it ahaz.
so farni
seriously speakin, i dunno wad u were tokin bout man, at 1st
i realli cant recall anytin
but after some time i tink i noe wad ur tryin 2 sae.
all i can sae is either u lack ur sense of humour,
or err i cant act 2 well
i swear, i did not do it in a hostile manner
u guys wanna leave i noe,
u like wanna explain rite, i noe
i was like tryin 2 let u noe tt, its ok u can juz leave,
i understan i understan leave leave.
its like..how 2 sae, tryin 2 like "chen quan" u 2 liddat askin u 2 leave n dun bother bout us
in a happi mood liddaT?
n in the end u sae i was being hostile n stuff n i dun understand y man
either i 2 zai in actin la
if not ur alreadi feelin not gd bout me or smth tt makes u biased n will make u tink of the negative side.
i dunno.

bout the askin of whther im nice thingey rite
comon la, i tell u, u pissed me real off man
at the pt she told me b0ut it i was like
"wtf man he realli asked u tt"
i was shocked n real pissed.
n wad? u didnt only ask her alone?
other gals 2 yeahh?

"Actually, i ASKED because i thought that there were some noteworthy qualities of ya that i can learn from. Its true and if u dun believe, you can seek confirmation from weien. Cos on that very same day, i told the sec4 Table Tennis grp when we went out for pool that I was IMPRESSED with ur character. sigh."

seriously i LAUGHED when i saw this.
k la wad i can sae is, wad i HEARED is not liddat la ok
wad i HEARD is tt u were like saein " how come ben teo is so popular wth the gals!?!?"
k im not sure wad u said la k but i tink is smth liddat rite?
then i tink u said it in a unhappi manner or smth,
coz i HEARd tt zp replied " f*** u lah ur friend popular also liddat!"
n not only he was pissed?
yeah tts wad i heard man

"Because we've been through thick and thin - the hardest times tgth and the worst arguments ever. Which makes the sudden separation ever more disheartening and depressing. I really dun understand why u've chosen the shortest and easiest path. The way out."

do u noe me well enuff i muz ask
has ben teo alwaes been the 1 givin up easily
do i alwaes choose the shortest n easiest path
when i was advicin u wth regards 2 ur relationship hav i ever told u 2 giv up
hav i ever ask u 2 juz run awae from it
n as 4 me, hav i alwaes been confrontin u when probs arrive
in this grp isnt it true tt i n u r the most meng
in the sense tt we realli tok it out
when we buay song at anytin
the last fight we had
did i juz walk awae
neither did u
so this time i chose 2 juz giv up
comon la, wad else u wan me 2 do

confront u again ah
then wad
uve pissed me off 2 such an extent tt i dun c the hope of patchin up again
its 2 hard
uve made me given up on the hope of patchin up wth u
n 1 of the reasons r
EVEN if we patch up
it will not last long
coz y?
of u
coz y?
coz shiru is in the same sch as me
coz y?
coz of ur jealousy
coz y?
coz u dun trust me
coz y?
uve changed

"but have i not been a good friend these yrs?? so much so that Im not worthy of his friendship? I dun really think so.. but obviously he feels it this way."

yes, uve been a gd friend these yrs.
u had been worthy of my friendship
not now, im afraid

"That time when i typed 'is he really that good' on my entry"
bout this incident, juz 2 clarify only
i wasnt pissed wth u
instead i was afraid ur pissed wth me
later on u explained 2 me
though honestly i can sae i was not totally convinced wth ur ans
this thingey juz faded awae
its nth big
its a minor incident

"Cos u can forgo a friendship so easily. right~ blame me for everythin. accuse me of bein a changed person. but not bring in the details and examples. and not tryin to solve it"

if u tink i can forgo a friendship so easiily
once again, do u noe me well
IF u realli noe me well
y dun u ask the question
" why iszit this time tt ben teo isnt confrontin me"
"why isnt him scoldin me off"

heh ur saein im ACCUSING u of being a changed person
can u take 5 min or more 2 pleaz, think n think n think
take awae ur pride n repute
r u a changed person
if u still tink im accusin u
fine
go ask ur friends
if they too agree wth u tat ur NOT a changed person since the kian whom i knew at sec2
fine i will apologise 2 u n rephrase wad i said
instead of saein ur a changed person i would sae
" in my personal opinion, uve changed"
alrite?
but sry, i cant imagine them saein u havent changed.

details n examples?
not tt i dun wan 2
i would luv 2 at 1st
tts y val was discouragin me 2 blog
she was afraid i would do tt
which i actually didnt intend 2 do tt n did not do tt
if u wan them fine..i'll name some
b4 tt i would juz like 2 sae,
i noe u tink tt its coz of the esplanade "incident" which i dunno whcih incident tt resulted in this
i juz wanna sae nah its not
i wasnt pissed at all in the esplanade,
cept in the begginin where ur late n did apologise 2 me
it was after tt in jk hse
we talked alot

k 1st
1 incident tt disgusts me lah
u did NOT go 2 marina bay n hav steamboat b4 rite
u told me
n yuehua showed me an sms by u
saein " ive been to marina bay there n its super crowded blah blah blah"
oh aint i the 1 tt told u tt its super crowded there
aint u the 1 askin me bout how it is like there coz uve nver been there b4?
hahaha so farni

n yuehua showed me another sms
saein shiru told yuehua tt its the guys tt did not wana hav steamboat
i shocked tio man...did we sae tt?
i betta pray tt its NOT u hu did not wanna eat there n told shiru tt its the guys tt dun wan man
how come she said tt the GUYS dun wan eat there huh
if its u, man....

bout the heng pei thingey n askin the other gals as well tt incident
sry ah
it juz pissed me real off

oh n btw didnt ur di bcame more impt than all of us?
disappointed

oh n u obviously dun trust me rite?
rmb tat dae u asked me bout how 2 reach marina fastest from cck?
i asked whter its 4 shiru or u bcoz,
its gonna b EASIER 4 me 2 tell u the ans
if its 4 shiru
i can juz tell u its the bus stop of pjc
if its u
i cant possibly tell u its pjc bus stop rite,
coz by rite u wouldnt noe
n i knew tt she was goin pj b4 the steamboat alrite
hence i was also tinkin u might b goin wth her
hence i hav 2 noe, in order to tell u easily
n wads ur response then i asked u tt?
" pleaz pleaz juz tell me how"
why? why cant u tell me ur goin there wth shiru?
wad r u tinkin of
the trust is no longer there man

oh well u hav ur di alreadi wad aha
when arguements arrive u hav ur di so..hmmm ok loh aha
oh n u still treat me as a threat rite isnt it
n u wanna save this friendship
how
no trust no nothin

oh n did u ever told yuehua tt the place we usually hang out is paragon?
she asked u where do we guys usally hang out rite ?
not sure whter its paragon
but its a high class place
juz wonderin..
do we usually hang out in a high class place..
i dun tink so?

oh in the foodcourt
i n keng slowest 2 sit down n eat rite..
we jokinly said " wahhh u guys gd lohz eat also nver wait 4 us de!!"
n i tink u gave a pissed off look n lookin 2wards the gals side i tink
i did not c tt
i heard from them
n i n keng was SHOCKED
liddat also can piss u off ah?
why?
coz the gals r there?
yuehua knew tt we were jk n 2 her its totally nth
or r we actin in such a crude or low class manner tat u cant stand
i dunno
n i dun understan how come u can b "pissed" at tt

oooh n u r more n more high class le hor ?
goin ritz 2 drink la..askin whther marina is 2 low class la..
n btw, ok la in MY opinion,
no eatin place is low class alrite?
high class yes, but not low class

when u sae u wanna go ritz 2 hav a drink i was realli wonderin, why man
high class?
ambience is wad u sae..
yeah i agree la
but, if the gals r not there
let me ask
would u ask us 2 go ritz n drink
i tell u
my "boss" in prudential
1 is manager n another is advisor
they r not v v rich la, but confirm not bad de la
they even said " why ppl wan go starbucks n coffeebean 2 drink coffee?!!"
" so expensive! 7/8 bucks 4 a coffee!?"
n the manger said " aiya u noe why? class lah... ppl tink go there got class mah"
"but u smoke, u go drink , got class ah?"
its juz tt sometimes i feel tt, 4 many things, the reasons ur doin it 4 is not rite
seriously speakin, if 1 dae u ask all of us, whter we wan go out 1 dae n go ritz hav a drink n c how its like, i would giv a yes
tt dae, if u all r goin, im juz gonna leave man

u kept saein u wanna slavage this friendship
comon la i advice u 2 tink again
r u sure?
do u wan me as ur friend not
CAN u treat me as a friend not
if u cant, juz stop all this man

n pleaz la
the wae u treat ur mom
i dunno hows it now la
mayb its totally diff lah
but, dunno la u c how lohz juz dun regret 1 dae 4 wad uve done, or wad u have not done

u dun treat me as a friend
im not gonnna treat u as a friend
yeah man, tts the wae it is
i cant imagine us being friends again

n ur gonna b wary of me again
coz of shiru
u can ask her 2 keep a distance awae from me
u cant ask me 2 keep a distance awae from her
coz she's my friend
i c no need 2 keep a distance awae from a friend
unless, she said tt she needs or wans 2 keep awae from me
ok tts diff, i will then do so
hence, i realli realli cant imagine us being friends
esp wth tt jealousy of urs too

u c how it goes man

peace

2005-01-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

A NEW CHAPTER
2/1/2005

its been quite sometime since i blogged huh ahaz.
any1 missed me? bleah juz kiddin..i not so bhb de ahaz...

much happened during the hols...
like i went 2 work wth jy yuehua wei hui..
like the msia trip i went wth jk n family, jy wei en kian...
like the jay chou concert i went wth jk jy wei en kian eddie...
like the stayovers we had...
like the christmas bbq i had wth jy jk wei en nicky zp in zp hse ...
like the new yr countdown i had wth jk jy wei en eddie cq kian wanshin(err sry 4 the spelling aha) yuehua wei hui m oh, darral!!(man how 2 spell again aha)
oh well dun tink im gonna elaborate ahaz..

2dae...
i jk jy eddie keng fai met..
we were plaein pool at pool factor...followed by LAN in beauty world....
yet the most impt thing is not bout the pool nor lan...
its about spendin time 2ghter ba...
yest as well...i jk eddie kkeng went 4 pool at nite...
yeah...i juz wana spend more time wth u guys...

after our activities 2dae...while walkin back 2 the bus stop,
jy jk wei en started singin some songs like sad sad de tt kind aha..
then we stopped at a hill...n dared jy 2 chiong up
he is so HUMMMMM..
aha jk..
we then oyabeiyasom erpss...
then jy had 2 climb up lalala
then up there...he shouted 3 times...some stuff la aha
i tink he felt realli great.
being able 2 shout it out...
hey..gl dude =) all the best ahaha

then not enuff mah...so we did it again n edddiee....
so he went up n errr found some snakes ahaha..

then we cont on our wae 2 bus stop..n stopped there..
then they oyabeiyasom again...w/o me la aha
i so smart, guessed wad they doin la aha
then eddie was chosen...n gave me a hug...
followed by wei en jy jk...
aha thanx man guys =) realliz.
ur hugs made me feel so much betta...
n then 1 more rd of hugs...ahaha (oi not gays ok ahah)
wei en n eddie then left..
soon 67 came...i gtg...
hugged jy jk again ahahz...
on bus...n i thought of so many stuff...in chi high..
the things we do 2gther..so many..
aha im not shy 2 sae here also tt i started havin a lil tears in my eyes ahaha....
yeah...im gonna miss the times we had..
but like we said, we still hav chance 2 meet yeah =)

keng:

among all of us i tink mayb i spent the least time wth u
but ur realli realli a gd friend, realliz.
i can tell.
thanx 4 these 2 daes esp. ok?
esp yest where u had a quarral juz 2 come out n spend time 2ghter
i noe u realise tt its gonna b rare 2 come out n hav fun 2gther again tts y ur here...
i realliz appreciate it.
n 2dae u came again...n hope we had a great time yeah?
take care yeah brother?
thanx once again =)

eddie:

aha my AT partner hor ahah...
other than wc we also got go out de hor...
we not gamers rite ahhaa..
though we didnt spend a whole deal of time 2ghter...
n tt we not realli VERY close la hor aha..
but oh well ur still my gd friend man aha..
n friendships do last de okk? rmb u sae last time tt our grp will split or wad rite??
u goin hc wth them lehh aha cherish the friendship yeahhh?
oh n got chance plae wc 2ghter ahaha =p

jk:

hey i muz thank u 4 yest also...
though after ur outin wth ur class n keng u still came 4 pool as well at nite...
ur realli a gd friend as well...alwaes sensitive 2 stuff...
i still rmb bout yest...
where we tokin the prog bout 2dae n tt u said there might b bball..
n i said i not realli interested in bball n so mayb i join u all later after tt..
n u said nvm we dun plae bball n all of us do other stuff 2ghter..
aha yeah thanx man...it realli u noe...juz make me feel gd tt theres a friend doin this..
2dae is a v impt dae 4 me...coz its like my "last" dae wth u all ahaz..
n thanx 4 the msia trip...the payin of hotels n stuff..
n ur lendin of 70 bucks 2 me...
u r v shuang kuai during the trip..
yeah thanx man...
ur friendship wth jy v long alreadi rite..
v stable also..cherish it man...

jy:

arloz joker ahaz...
the 2nd mr nice guy hor, if 1 is me lalla
v sensitive also la...gd gd aha
juz now when jk was like runnin 4 the bus i c u chiongin 2 him...
u like wan stop him rite...n of coz i noe y lah...
mayb jk is juz plaein plaein or he realli like 4got i duno but yeah i c u do tt n yeah thanx aha
i noe we got some conflicts here n dere at times la but then....all small small things ritee!
aha yeah...thanx 4 being a gd friend =)
i wish u all the best of luck man aha...u noe wad i mean lah tskk tskkk...

wei en:

aha i knew u the earliest out of this grp man..
n ur my 1st close friend i had in chi high aha...
still rmb last time in TT outing we alwaes the last de when we all walkin..
even lide called us gay?!! ahhaa..
rmberd tt we seldom had conflicts or wad...2 times is all i rmb.
but we patch up like 15 min later ahaha..
ur alwaes tinkin straight aha like clear minded liddat..
cool man..
ur v jiang yi qi also...
sometimes i c u being sensitive 2 ppl's feelings as well...n tts being noticed aha =)
oh, n btw thanx 4 ponning ur organ lesson 2dae for comin out 2dae ya...
n make sure u n her stable stable de horrr!!
n u muz an1 fen4 shou3 ji3 also k ahah...

kian:

wad muz i sae.
u were the closest friend 2 me in this grp..
yet...things change...
n its not 4 the betta..
conflicts happened the most b/w us 2...
i rmb alot of things..
the puzzle...the lib nites...the times u had probs n u tell me bout it...
but..now...dunnoz...
honestly, a post "should" had been posted b4 this
n its not gonna b v nice i tink..
even val was like tellin me not 2 post or smth ahaz..
oh well i wasnt realli "free" la so dun hav ahaz..
4 a fact is tt...im not realliz err happi wth u?
uve changed..alot...i tink bout the time i met u..i tink bout u now...
juz..so.. diff..
n..uve disappointed me man...not only once...
u made me wonder, whter im a friend 2 u..
uve done things tt made me wonder,
does a friend do this 2 u
ur becomin more of a person tts so...unreal
some may hav known..ur not my friend anymore.
yea..ur gone..
ur juz gonna b some1 like chris...some1 whom i noe...but i dun reali care
there r ppl wth opinions bout chris..unhappi wth the wae he is or wad he is or wad he does
they ask 4 my opinions
i juz sae, yeah he's fine...juz tt sometimes he geks me..
but they hav not so gd opinions of him ..
but i sae, oh well, it doesnt realli matter 2 me wther he realli sucks 2 the core or he's an angel.
coz he's juz some1 whom i noe, he's not a friend of mine
i dun realli care how much he suck or wad...or how nice is he..
n ur gonna bcome such a person 2 me...
i dun hate u of coz...
in the 1st place i tink its hard 4 me 2 hate some1...
i dunno...

n btw...even though i feel this wae 2wards u...
2dae...i did hope tt u were wth us...
i did hope tt i get 2 hug u n keng as well...
but ur not there...so..ya...nvm..

1 advice though, or iszit more than 1 ..zz..
pride n repute...how much r they worth...
a man's pride is impt
a man's principles are impt
u muz hang on 2 them
but "ur" pride n repute doenst refer 2 those..
n do tink bout their "importance" at times..
wad uve become made ppl unhappi
wad uve done made ppl unhappi
note, its "people", referrin 2 more than 1
if u can make ur gd friends disappointed in u, sad, n wonders "y is kian like this like this like this"
there muz b smth wrong rite?
ive had enuff..
ive got more issues than the rest, n some is 2 much 4 me 2 take
hence ur no longer a friend of mine
but the rest still treats u as a gd friend of theirs
hence 4 their sake, im gonna sae, plz, do reflect, or do hav a tok or smth.
ur friends care 4 u
i cared.

hmmm a long entry again aha
been long since ive done tt aha
friends, once again thanx 4 everytin..
the memories i had will last..
u all gave me a wonder chapter in chs
northaland is 1 chapt
chs is another
im approachin pj, another new chapt
but i will nver 4get u all de okie!?! ahha sounds so gay but jy lah sae " cnanot 4get us hor" ahaha wun de la u all dun 4get me can liaoz aha
kk liaoz i tok back 2 mom n dad 2 many times liaoz
haiz askin me 2 slp again ahaha

soo..2mr the reopenin of sch
hope all u guys hav fun ok!!?!

cyaz guyssssss
cya soon...
all the best 4 ur new sch yr =)

peace...

2004-11-21T11:38:00.000+08:00

LALALA
./.22.11.2004./.

4get bout the last post aha
Os r over,
muz b happi
y make oneself feel bad huh ahaha
lalala
shant sae much
goin chalet soon
havenet pack
still wanna plae wth eddie tft muaha
k ccya guys

peace

2004-11-21T01:11:00.000+08:00

OVER
./.22.11.2004./.

Os over. congrats? aha
long time no blog, still got ppl comin not aha
dunno
my mood can juz change in a snap
aha not gd
coz its alwaes from gd 2 bad
oh well sry cant sound enthu now
arghz dunno la havent had this feelin since startin of Os
dun wan it comin again
go awae go awae go awae
mayb next yr..
aha ya..
tink next yr ppl will 4get me liaoz aha
gd? mayb aha
oh well aha goin class chalet 2mr
supposed 2 b til fridae
but kian got chalet on thur so mayb leave on tue ba...
since wed still need go sch...
jr last min cannot go?
suay kia
nvm still got hope one aha
juz started plaein tft...gonna start pool 2 le aha
gonna try read A lev work? aha
comin week packed
sat got jay concert 2
realli lookin 4ward 2 it
m i enthu enuff?
oh ok
im REALLI REALLi goin 2 look 4ward 2 it! woot!!!!!!
there
any souls readiin this aha

enjoy ur hols peeps
its neither here nor there

a whole new chapt gonna b born soon

peace

2004-10-20T13:57:00.000+08:00

CYA 4 THE TIME BEING
./.20.10.2004./.

much stuff happened 4 the past few weeks.
cant b bothered 2 write though ahaz.
Os is like so so near now.
im like wae wae behind schedule liddat ahaz.
not gonna use the com tt frequently now.
after 2dae me not signin in msn liaoz ahaz.
no blog til after Os liaoz ahaz.
mayb i will giv up pi li huo also waha.
tt i shall consider.
hp siao siao also liaoz ahaz.
but hav 2 wait til after exams b4 buyin sianz.
not bad, at least can change liaoz...
after...3 yrs liddaT? wahaha
therefore any1 need anytin or wad sms or call me la yep..
i tink some peeps took their prac le.
hope u all did well ahaz.
as 4 the peeps takin it 2molo...
all the best man ahaz.
every1 jia you 4 the comin weeks ok ahaz...
hope i will do so ahaz.
pray things go welll 4 everyone from 2dae onwards =)
hope me also liddat la ahaz haiz.
ok, gl peeps.
cya in a few weeks later aha, err 3? 4?

i love u, da gu

love n peace

2004-10-03T21:18:00.000+08:00

WADEVA
./.3.10.2004./.

final L1R5 19 pts.
said im gonna hao lian.
here i am ahaz.
hope pioneer accepts me ahaz.
not gonna tok more bout prelim results.
19pts, meanin all sucky la aha sae wad more.
not gonna tink of prelims now.
Os comin...

so many stuff in my brain now.
dunno wad lah so much 2 blog but..wad the heck.
oh anywaez some ppl tink im so laidback n relax ahaz.
shiqi is envy of tt muaha.
while jingren dun wan me 2 b liddat ahaz.
but do noe tt im scared la okie aha.
yeah ben teo is hum ok he's scared ahaz.
but no pt being sad over prelims le rite aha jr.
so...ya..relac dudes...

its wierd these daes.
me, 19pter consoling 8/9 /10pters ahaz.
dangs..wad 2 sae ahaz.

"im goin 2 c u in pj :("
it geks alrite.
didnt sae much coz u said u were sad.
if it were other ppl, i would b pissed.
i hope u dun dispise pj.
im not tinkin it tt wae.
hope not.
if so, wadeva.
i tink wad i said r crap 2 u.
nvm.
sry 4 wastin ur time.
i tink u no need my concern anymore, as a friend.
all the best then ahaz.

im glad in a wae aha (sounds familiar?)
everbody ard me is doin fine..
everytin seems gd 4 everone...
results la..other stuff la..
so...ya...gd....
cont cont...

gimme some time.
i need sort some things out myself.
i need time 2 forget stuff.
mayb i shouldnt listen 2 "jie kou" anymore aha.
i'll b fine...
i will make sure i look happi everydae ok ahahaz.
im pro at tt :)

oh, n one thing.
i WILLL study for my Os.
u guys relax, n dun wry.
i will ask 4 help la aha,
so sry if i bother u all ahaz.
if im a nuisance(juz learnt how 2 spell aha)
then reject me la ahaz.
obviously wei en n co will noe how noob i am in chem now ahaz.
rite?

studied on sat wth them in my house.
wei en told me alot of noob chem stuff.
which i dunno ahhaaz.
juz now back from macs.
was studyin wth them also.
not bad, alot chem q can ask them ahaz.
im sooo noob.

fridae went 2 kbox wth class.
8 peeps.
3 hoggin the mics? ahaha
me jr n hindarto ahaz.
oi not our fault la aha the rest all so not enthu ahaz.
but we managed 2 force them aha :)
had fun, cool ahaz.

sometimes mayb i tink i should b 2 concerned bout ppl?
i dunno.
sometimes i feel so stupid.
y am i so concerned 4.
mayb ppl dun appreciate it.
mayb ppl dun need it.
mayb im juz being extra.
mayb i should juz b a bo chap person.
can i?
ahaha dunno...
sometimes...its juz so gek...
(p.s. im not referrin 2 anyone in particular)

sometimes, mom kept tokin 2 me bout results la y i dun work hard la n stuff.
i noe, i noe, i noe.
let me b bhb AGAIN
i can sae i NOE alot of stuff ahaz.
i proclaim myself as some1 hu noes how 2 tink ahaz.
coz ive got much enlightenment alreadi lahz aha from many incidents.
im not some1 hu cant tink 4 nuts alrite.
so, aiya dunno lahz.
mom kept tokin til i dunno this dunno tt liddat.
i noe alot of "model" answers 2 life ok muahaz.
but can i apply them 2 myself?
ahaha i can try...
ooh wad am i tokin ahaz.
im goin nuts.

i will not b online as often i tink.
i hope.
need 2 mug.
i will study i will study i will study.
relax relax relax.
n thanx 2 all peeps la ok hu helped me in my chem esp aha.
n those on the tagboard as well.
n jk, relac, i will b fine okie??

finally bought fish's yan wei die ahaz.
yayz...
sometin 2 b happi about ahaz.
gonna listen it later ahaz.
tink i cant slp 2nite ahaz.
ny paper 2 havent do.
amaths paper 1 n 2 havent do.
u tink i can slp? ahhaa

i made the choice of goin pj.
im not gonna regret it.
i hope ahaz.
noe sometin, its a VERY hard choice 2 make.
pretend ur me.
u tink u would make such a decision?
hence when u hear i make such a decision,
do noe tt i dun made it 4 fun.
its hard 4 me alrite, n do u noe how many times i had tears in my eyes coz of it.
so, ya juz relac liaoz peeps ahaz.
i noe wad im doin.
i noe u guys r concerned n hoped 4 the best 4 me.
i noe.
thanx.
but, im sry.
i noe many ppl will tink im crazy ahaz.
coz i sae im aimin 4 below 10pts n go pj
normal ahaz.
there r also some ppl hu tinks tt its not a crazy decision.
thanx man ahaz.
its glad 2 hear such stuff from these ppl hu can support ur decision ahaz.

bottom is this.
dun wry bout me.
i will b fine.
even if im not ahaz,
let me rot ahaz.
no la relac...

sheesh kah seng juz toked 2 me.
dammit, im from nps.
cannot do bad 4 Os.
im from northland.
i cant disgrace northland.
muz do well 4 Os :)
aha note sometin.
i didnt sae i cant disgrace tchs.
ahhaaz.
i dun care bout tchs man.
sry.
mayb northland would serve as a motivation :)
yes, all northlanders! jia you! ahahaz.

kk go mug guys.
ppl hu stay up awake til v late in the early mornin sms 2 sae hi ahahaz.
nonono cannot.
go slp la aiyo ahaha.

im goin crazy liaoz i tink ahaz.
im alwaes liddat.
i should go bathe, sit down n listen 2 yan wei die.
oh n do work ahaz.

hope i dun fall aslp in class 2molo =p

peace

u guys dunno alot of things in my mind ahaz. dun mind if sometimes i appear dao or bad temper or dun chap u ok ahaz. u guys dun hav 2 noe wad it is. but i will try 2 b as norm as possible ahaz. yeah 7 weeks more b4 Os over. yeah 3 months b4 u guys wun c me again ahaz. 3 months b4 mayb i will b free of troubles, i dunno. mayb. tc all.

2004-09-28T15:27:00.000+08:00

I KNOW
./.28.9.2004./.

juz got back home,
from checkin of chem paper.
wan noe how it was?
paper 1 : 24/40
paper 2 : 25/80
paper 3 : 42/60
(prac)
overall : 46.66/100, D7
diao bu diao.
lowest in ortus.
aye..expected f9, got d7, oh i should b happi?
rite..
geog got c5.
expected f9 too.
how come so tyco.
supposedly if get 35/40 for mcq 2molo,
i will get b3 overall.
we shall c.

Shiqi:

heh aha i noe u worked hard 2 get into rg...of coz its coz of ur hard work...
i not saein u got great brains or wad...i mean...
im tellin everyone tt i dun wan 2 c them in pj la ahaz..coz..
i juz wan u all 2 do well in prelims..liddat only...
not saein u super zai or saein pj not gd liddat la ya ahaz..
n hey u got a life la...dun sae u got no life ahaz u havent seen ppl hu realli hav no life aha
oh n wth regards 2 the education system ahaz, sad 2 sae, i feel tt Os is stupid.
realliz.
wads the aim. err ok determine whter u can go into "better" jcs.
tts all?
wad we learnin now, does it help in the future at all.
mayb physics yes..mayb maths a lil..if u wan 2 b teacher of coz yes la.
the thing is, its more or less "useless", oops sry.
get a nice lookin certificate.
go into gd jc.
tts all isnt it.
i alwaes believe, if ur willing 2 work hard, u can go jcs like rj n hc la.
so, u can do it one la realli..relac n dun tink bout prelims liaoz.
i even belived tt i can go hc, if i realli sit down n pia n mug. (m i bhb ahaz)
however, i c no purpose, n hav 2 motivation 2 do so.
sry 2 sae tt. but its the truth.
therefore i tink i will still work hard, n work 2wards my goal of L1R5 below 10 for Os, but aimin 4 HC n stuff, nahz...
top jcs not 4 me, realiz. had enuff of such err "life" of being in top sch.
it might b gd 4 u though ahaz so jia you k.
i belive in myself tt wad im doin is rite, not choosin 2 go top jc, but i do not wan u all 2 tink like me.
i wan u all 2 do well n go 2 zai jcs ok??
so the bottom line is juz tt i hope 4 the best 4 all of u la ahaz...but oi dun stress out 2 much...
oh n did u sae im a carin friend? y u go so much time 2 por me? whaah..
oh wait, yes yes im such a carin friend!!! woot!!
sry la i goin bonkers liaoz.
aha no la im not realli carin..nobodi said tt 2 me b4 ahahaz.
im juz a bastard hu tinks 2 much, does 2 much, bothers 2 much, crap 2 much.
ChuaLC wrote this on my paper, chem paper:
r u doin justice 2 ur own conscience n 2 those ppl ard u hu care?
i noe mrs chua cares, realliz, she one real nice teacher whom i admire.though she is fierce all the time la but i noe she cares alot.
but, "2 those ppl ard u hu care"? ahahaz.
wad a joke.
oops a bit harsh.
but, ppl carin 4 me? ahaha let me tink hard bout it...
thanx 4 being so nice ahahaz.
i returned u the favour liaoz k ahaz.
n hor, from the prelim results u juz told me,
dangs u worry 4 wad ahaz.
gl n dun stress out kk.....

sometimes, life is not fair.
ok mayb not realli fair or no fair but..
ya my "da gu" got cancer.
n i was discovered late i guess,
and it was alreadi in the last stage.
went 2 c her on sundae.
she looked so weak.
she lost so much weight.
she was realli so so nice.
wheneva we went 2 her house,
she would alwaes tok 2 us happily n make sure we alwaes get food 2 eat ahaz.
she alwaes looked so cheerful, and healthy as well.
hence, on sun it was such a drasitc difference.
i guess everyone is alreadi prepared 2 c her leave us soon.
such a nice lady, yet unfortunately contracted cancer.
this is juz it i guess.
at least i tink she would go awae peacefully.
there r so many ppl ard her hu takes care of her well n care 4 her.
but, i hope she can realli hang on strong.

i wan 2 b happi goin 2 sch.
i wan 2 look 4ward goin 2 sch.
i wan 2 study coz i luv studyin.
i dont hav these in tchs.
i hope i could find all these next yr.
may 2005 come quickly.
i noe im gonna lose my friends.
but, ya, i made the decision, liddat lo..

2molo last paper, geog mcq.
hope everyone scores 35/40 like wad CHANNNN said ahaz.
tt would make my geog B3?? wahaha tts like a fantasy.
dunno la c lo..
dun sweep rd next yr can liaoz.

pray i dun fall sick soon.
sore throat, flu, n under my unlids its feelin hot,
ooh tts not gd.
gd thing is, im v diam, dun feel like speakin.
being dao is gd in a wae, realliz, lets u c more "things".
but makes u c more bastards ahahaz.
mayb tts bad, dunno aha.

gl everyone.
im tryin 2 4get stuffs,
tryin hard,
so i can b normal, n happi.
but some things juz take some times i guess.
where has the cheerful crappy luffin smiling outspeakin ben teo gone 2.
somewhere....

oh i didnt take nap.
oh i havent finish studyin geog ahahaz.
dangs buaiz peeps.

peace

2004-09-25T16:40:00.000+08:00

PRELIMS OVER?
./.25.9.2004./.

err false alarm havent finish
but heck, 2 papers left, notin much 2 study aha,
i tink.
yest saw myself in fridae weekly.
sianz everyone saes i look farni ahahaz.
zee still wans my autograph wahaha.
oi tt big big pic is v zhuai ookkkk dun luff ahaha.
nonetheless vote 4 me 3 weeks later okie?
ahaha i wan the 200 bucks as well =p
slept til 12 2dae.
slept at 12plus yest.
shiok, realli shiok.
if everydae liddat then shuang liaoz..
dun wan get back results sia.
sure die like siao siao siao.
sianz.
ppl take care of ur health kies.
wei en n jr got headaches?
aha me 2 but tink not as serious as them.
n jr dun b so gek liaoz muz chill chill okk.
lala now is 445pm.
been plaein carom3d.
yikes wad bout my geog ahahaz.
will try 2 du shu later erps.
take care of ur healths peeps..
gl when gettin back results 2 ahahaz...

peace

dunno whter im livin in denial now. at least it makes me less worried n troubled i guess. its not sometin i should b doin. but wad the heck. in the end if i regret it, its my own decision.